


Bound

by QianLan



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Bickering, Canadian Shack, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Handcuffed Together, Huddling For Warmth, M/M, Memory Loss, Mutual Pining, On the Run, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-12 15:58:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9079543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QianLan/pseuds/QianLan
Summary: It’s supposed to be a simple recon mission, but then Poe and Finn wake up handcuffed to each other with the First Order in hot pursuit.While they evade Stormtroopers, the universe is going to force them to pretend to be married, to share a bed, and to huddle for warmth, among other things--seems the universe ships it and is ready for these two idiots to just get together already. COMPLETE





	1. The Ties that Bind

**Author's Note:**

> So, I set out to go through a bunch of “why don’t they just confess their love already” tropes, namely: Canadian Shack, Huddling for Warmth, Bed Sharing, Fake Relationship, Mutual Pining, and Handcuffed Together. I intended it to be this light little piece of fluff, but then Finn got angry and this backstory developed and I ended up really enjoying writing them bickering.
> 
> All of that to say, this is Poe and Finn who are friends but who at the moment aren’t getting along. Because feelings.
> 
> Which means the universe is going to keep trying to force them together in the most trope-tastic ways possible.

 

 

“What the kriff?”

 

Poe hears the alarm in Finn’s voice but as every part of him is sore, he’s having trouble caring as much as he should.  He tries to roll over, groaning.

 

“Poe,” Finn says.  “Poe, wake up.”

 

Poe really wants to say something, but his mouth isn’t working yet.  And it’s sticky and dry.  He licks his lips and brings both hands up to hold his head—he’s pretty sure it’s about to fall off.

 

That’s when he feels the tug on his right wrist.

 

“Poe!”

 

Poe tries to bring his right hand to his head again, and it stops.  He pulls at it.

 

“Poe, wake the hell up!”

 

Poe tries one last time to drag his right hand to his head before blinking his eyes open.  Finn is sitting next to him, looking down—annoyed and maybe worried—and there’s something Poe is missing.  _Did we sleep together_ , Poe wonders, and for just a moment, he feels all light and happy. 

 

Then, he looks back up into Finn’s eyes—still worried and annoyed.  He follows Finn’s line of sight, and then he sees it.

 

“What the kriff,” Poe says, scrambling up so he’s sitting.

 

“Exactly,” Finn says.

 

Poe’s right hand is cuffed to Finn’s left.

 

“No, seriously, what the kriff!”

 

Finn closes his eyes.  He really wants to slap the back of Poe’s head.  “I know.”

 

“But…” 

 

They aren’t First Order binders— _thank the maker for that_ —so there’s a bit more of a chain between the cuffs, but still, Poe figures that only gives them about four or five inches to work with.   _Fragging hell.  Someone kriffing cuffed us together?!?!_

 

Poe closes his eyes and tries to bring both hands up to scrub over his face before he feels the familiar tug of the binders.  He settles for his left hand.  “Okay, so rewinding a bit to last night…”  He turns to look at Finn who suddenly has a strange, hopeful sort of look on his face. For a moment, Poe forgets to worry.  He leans back against the metal wall and just enjoys the small smile tugging at Finn’s lips.

 

“Last night,” Finn says.  His tone is suggestive, almost flirty.

 

Poe leans closer.  “Yeah, about that…”  His head starts spinning.  He goes to grab it and feels the pull of the binders yet again.  “Seriously, though, what happened?”

 

“What do you mean,” Finn asks.

 

“I mean,” Poe says, raising the binders up and pointing to them.  “What in the kriff happened?”

 

And just like that, the spell is broken.

 

Finn’s face falls.  _He doesn’t remember?  Any of it?  Or maybe he wants to pretend it didn’t happen…_   Finn’s voice warbles a bit as he begins, “Ummm, Poe, if you don’t want to—”

 

“Where are we,” Poe asks, finally registering that they are, in fact, not in their rented room.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Well, how long have we been here?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Well, what _do_ you know?”

 

Finn sighs.  “We’re in a six-by-six metallic cell.  It’s old, hasn’t been used in a while.  By the sounds of things, we’re planet-side, and someone has cuffed us together.”

 

“Kriff,” Poe says, blinking.  _Wake up, Dameron_.  His head is killing him.  “I guess we were drugged.”

 

“Yeah,” Finn says.  “It was quite a night.”  _Or don’t you remember…_ Finn remembers.  Well, he remembers what happened before they blacked out and someone slapped a pair of binders on them.  He _definitely_ remembers what Poe said.

“Yeah,” Poe laughs unsteadily, “quite a night.”  He shakes his head as if it’s coming back to him.  “The cantina!  Probably shouldn’t drink that much again.”  He holds up his right hand in front of him, studying the binders.  “That’s how you end up in compromising positions, I guess.”  He wants to laugh again, but Finn’s whole being has gone tense.

 

 _I’m missing something_ , Poe thinks.   _Finn is not okay._  

 

Poe opens his mouth to ask what’s wrong, but Finn says, “So first things first, we need to get out of this cell.”

 

 _Or we can do that._   “Agreed.  Any ideas?”

 

Finn frowns, nodding to the door.  “Nothing on this side.  No windows, no latches, nothing I can work with.  I guess we have to wait for whoever it is to come in.”

 

“Kriff,” Poe says.  “Okay, so I’m guessing this,” he holds up their joined hands, “is going to make things interesting.”

 

“Yeah.  I’m good with just my right hand.  How are you with your left?”

 

“Okay.”  _Horrible, but I’m not going to tell you that_.  “But I was thinking more about the fact that neither of us can move without dragging the other along.”

 

“So I guess I’ll take the lead on jumping whoever comes in,” Finn says.

 

“Why you?”

 

Finn raises an eyebrow and refuses to dignify that with a response.

 

 _I am not some nerf-herding invalid._   Poe takes a deep breath.  _Calm down.  It’s the nerves talking.  He’s better at hand-to-hand.  You know this._

 

“So, how long you think we’ve been in here,” Poe asks, and before Finn can say _I don’t know_ , he adds, “Guess.”

 

“I’m getting hungry and I really have to use the fresher, so I’d guess about six, seven hours.”

 

“Fragging hell.”  Poe leans his head back against the metallic wall.  “No more seedy cantinas after a mission, I guess.”

 

“Maybe no more seedy cantinas period,” Finn amends.

 

“You’re no fun,” Poe says.

 

“No, I’m not.”  Finn’s voice is clipped and tight.

 

 _Okay, I’m definitely missing something_.  “Finn,” Poe begins.

 

They hear sounds outside.  Someone is in the hall.  Finn turns and nods to Poe.  They both rise—or rather Finn rises and pulls Poe up by the binders.  Poe has to fight not to complain about the manhandling.

 

Finn nods to a space just in front of the door and Poe moves to it.  _Yes, sir_ , he thinks, and the only reason he doesn’t salute is that his hand is cuffed. “So what exactly should I do,” Poe whispers. 

 

“Stay out of my way and let me take the lead.”

 

“Fine, I’ll just stand here,” Poe grumbles.

 

Finn shoots him an annoyed glance.  “Poe, I know you’re right handed and that your ribs are still bruised from that crash last month.”

 

“Aborted landing,” Poe corrects.

 

“Yeah, whatever.  Just let me do this, Dameron,” Finn hisses.

 

“Fine,” Poe hisses back.

 

A minute later, the door starts to slide open.  Finn steps forward, hands up and ready. 

 

Finn lunges and a tiny Twi’lek screams, dropping her bag with a clang.

 

“What the kriff,” Finn yells, backing away.

 

“Don’t hurt me!”

 

“Don’t hurt _you_ ,” Finn asks loudly.

 

“Please,” she pleads.  “I didn’t mean to…”  She is on the verge of tears.

 

“Who are you,” Poe asks, stepping forward.

 

“Who are you,” she asks, eyeing him suspiciously.

 

“I asked first,” Poe says. 

 

Finn rolls his eyes.

 

“I’m Anal’a.” 

 

“Poe,” Poe says.  “He’s Finn.”

 

“What are you two doing here?”

 

“What do you mean,” Finn says.  “You’re the one who kidnapped us!”

 

“Kidnapped?  What in the kriff are you talking about?”

 

“Well, someone locked us in here,” Finn says.

 

Anal’a’s eyes go wide.  “Oh kriff,” she says.  She looks around—almost as if she expects someone to round the nearest corner and pounce.  “Bounty hunters,” she whispers as she quickly gathers her bag and starts down the hall.  Poe and Finn share a confused look and then run after her.

 

“Wait,” Poe says.  “Where are we?  What’s going on?”

 

“I shouldn’t be here.  They’re gonna…”  She turns back and looks at Poe and Finn.  “Oh kriff, this is bad.”

 

Poe and Finn catch up with her.  “Look, Anal’a, was it?” Poe says.  “Please wait.  Just for a second.”

 

“No, if they left you here, they’ll be coming back.”

 

“Where is here?”

 

She looks down.

 

“Anal’a, please,” Finn says.

 

“Ship graveyard about twenty klicks outside of Binjai-Tin,” she says.

 

“So we’re still on Nag Ubdur,” Poe says.  “Thank the maker.”

 

They hear several ships flying overhead.

 

“Kriff,” Anal’a says, running through what Finn now realizes are the rusted guts of an old Imperial Cruiser.

 

He takes off after her, dragging Poe along.  “Hey!  Warn a guy before doing that.”

 

“Sorry,” Finn says.  “We’re in a crashed ship,” he throws back.  “My guess is, someone was holding us for the Order.”

 

“Bounty hunters,” Poe says, desperately trying to remember last night.

 

“Yeah,” Finn says, trying to keep his eyes on Anal’a.  He figures she knows the quickest route out of the ship.

 

“So, this is from the battle of Nag Ubdur,” Poe says, trying to make sense of the rusting metal.

 

“Yeah, Rey said she used to scavenge old Imperial ships on Jakku.  I figure our friend Anal’a does the same here.”

 

They round a corner and Finn suddenly stops.  Poe crashes into him.  “What the kriff, Finn?”

 

Finn points down.  They are standing several hundred feet above a dusty landscape.

 

“Where did she go,” Poe asks.

 

“No idea,” Finn says.

 

“Did she jump?”

 

“I hope not,” Finn says.  Then he sees it—the cord tied off about two feet outside the opening.  Anal’a has just reached the bottom of it.  He points to it.  “What do you think?”

 

Poe holds up his hand and pulls on the binders.  “Just how are you planning on doing this, or are you going to use the force to float us down?”

 

Finn chuckles.  “That’s not how the force works.”  _At least not until I’ve had more training._

 

Then, from somewhere deep in the ruins of the ship, they hear the clanging of a door opening. 

 

Finn whispers, “I was actually thinking you would ride on my back.”

 

“You can’t be serious.”

 

“You have a better idea?”

 

Poe closes his eyes.  “Fine.  But not a word to anyone when we get back to base.  Deal?”

 

“No way, Dameron,” Finn says, already leaning out of the opening and grabbing for the cord.  “I’m gonna tell everyone about how I had to carry you out of here.”  He flashes Poe a huge smile and nods for him to climb on his back.

 

“This is a bad idea,” Poe says, reaching across Finn and settling himself.  He moves his hand so that Finn can grab the rope.  “Please don’t kill us.”

 

“I’ve got this,” Finn says, pushing off and letting them slowly slide down the side of the crashed ship.

 

If Poe is being honest, it isn’t that bad being pressed up against Finn.  Although honestly, he’d prefer it under better circumstances.  And maybe no cuffs. 

 

 _At least not the first time_.  Poe smiles and grips Finn just a bit tighter.

 

“Scared,” Finn shoots back.

 

“Terrified,” Poe says into his ear.  “Terrified that we’re never going to make it to the ground.”

 

“Pilots,” Finn mutters.  “Always in such a hurry.”

 

“You know it.”

 

They reach the ground and both immediately start to run in opposite directions.

 

“OW!”

 

“What the kriff!”

 

As their arms jerk them back together, they both start talking at once.

 

“I’m almost certain that the city is this way and besides…”

 

“…need to go this way.  There’s trees and cover.”

 

They hear more clanging and suddenly a Stormtrooper appears in the opening they just left.  “They’re down here, sir,” they can hear him shout.

 

“Kriff,” Finn yells.  “Run.”  He takes off for the trees with Poe just behind him.  The trooper opens fire.

 

Dodging blaster fire isn’t easy under the best of circumstances, but when you’re shackled to someone else, it becomes that much trickier.  As Finn darts to the side, he jerks Poe into the line of fire. 

 

“What the hell, man?”

 

“Sorry,” Finn yells.

 

A blast hits the ground, sending dust up into the air.  Poe instinctively moves both hands up to shield his eyes. 

 

As the binders tug at Finn, he yells, “This isn’t working!”

 

“I know!  You damn near got me killed a second ago.”  A blast hits about a foot in front of Poe.  “Fragging sithspit,” he screams, stopping up short.  His arm suddenly goes out as Finn keeps running.  “Finn!”

 

“Keep moving, Dameron!  We have to lose them.”

 

They make it to the tree line and begin navigating the forest, which adds fallen limbs and wet leaves to the mix.  And Poe realizes that while he is in shape, he isn’t in Finn-style shape.  He’s already breathing heavily, and his ribs are screaming.  “Finn, we’re gonna have to stop running at some point,” he pants out.

 

“Not until,” Finn jumps over a fallen log, “we’ve put about a klick between us and them.”  They hear blaster fire behind them.

 

“Ow,” Poe yelps, banging into a low-hanging branch. 

 

Finn is scanning for places to hide.  He knows that Poe isn’t at 100%.  This is the first mission he’s been on since the “aborted landing” and Finn’s seen the winces when Poe didn’t think he was watching.

 

Finn is breathing heavily and thinking that they’re just going to have to run forever when he sees a green hand dart out from behind a tree.  “This way,” Anal’a hisses.  Finn turns and takes off after her.

 

“Thanks,” he says.

 

She shakes her head.  “Don’t thank me yet.”  She dips under a branch and says, “Who are you two anyway to warrant that many Stormtroopers?”

 

“Resistance,” Finn says.

 

“Kriff,” she says.  “That’s what I figured.”  She points to a rock up ahead.  “Not much further.”

 

Poe is being uncharacteristically quiet.  Finn turns around to check on him.

 

“I’m fine, Finn,” Poe pants out.

 

“Yeah, right,” Finn says with a smile.  “Perfectly fine.”

 

“Shut up,” Poe says.

 

Anal’a rolls her eyes. 

 

At the rock, she stops and starts feeling the stone.  Finn looks over his shoulder.  They’ve got about a minute before a whole lot of Stormtroopers are going to be on them.  “Hurry,” he says.

 

“I’m working on it,” she says.

 

Suddenly, a piece of rock gives and they hear a mechanism start.  Part of the rock shifts back revealing a door.

 

“What in the hell,” Poe manages.

 

“Come on,” Anal’a says, shoving them inside.

 

It’s dark, but Finn can tell there are stairs leading down.  “Stairs,” he says to Poe, starting down them.

 

“Great,” Poe says, his arm stuck out straight in front of him as Finn goes first.  “This isn’t awkward at all.”

 

“Maybe you’d like to be the one running down the stairs in the dark with his hand behind his back?”

 

“Maybe the two of you would like to shut up until we get somewhere safer,” Anal’a hisses from behind them.  They hear the door click shut behind her.

 

They go down the stairs for what feels like hours before Finn hits the bottom.  “Anal’a,” he says.  “I can’t see anything.  What now?”

 

“Now,” she says, “We wait.”

 

“Yeah, that’s not ominous,” Poe mumbles under his breath.

 

A moment later, there is a blinding white light in their eyes.  “Who is it,” asks a voice.

 

“It’s me, Anal’a, and I have two friends.  They’re from the Resistance.”

 

The light gets brighter and Finn can hear at least three beings approaching.

 

“That would explain all the First Order chatter in this sector,” says one of them.  Finn can feel several sets of eyes on him.  “What are your names,” the voice demands.

 

“Finn.”

 

“Poe.  Poe Dameron.”

 

“Dameron,” one of them asks.  “As in Kes Dameron?”

 

“That’s my dad,” Poe says.

 

“If he’s your dad, then where are you from?  What’s your mother’s name?  What was your father’s rank?”

 

“Really?  You know anyone with a half-decent knowledge of the history of the…”

 

Finn nudges Poe with his shoulder. 

 

“Fine.  Whatever.  I’m from Yavin IV.  Mom’s name was Shara Bey.  Dad was a sergeant, served with the Pathfinders,” Poe says.  “What’s it to you?”

 

The being laughs.  “They’re good.”  Suddenly, the bright light disappears and beings start lighting torches. 

 

A human male—about sixty—approaches Poe and Finn, who are still blinking as their eyes adjust.  “Good to meet you.  I’m Guailin.  I served with your father for a while during the Rebellion.”  He laughs again as he looks Poe up and down.  “You look like her,” he says.  “It’s the hair.  And the eyes.”

 

Anal’a steps forward.  “I found them in one of the ships in the graveyard.”

 

Guailin raises an eyebrow. 

 

Poe says, “Best we can figure, someone drugged us last night in Binjai-Tin.  We woke up today on that ship.”  Poe holds up his hand and Finn’s.  “Like this.”

 

Guailin shakes his head.  “I don’t even want to guess what the bounty on two members of the Resistance is.”  He starts forward.  “Come on.  We can at least get those binders off you.”

 

**# # # #**

 

“Ummmm,” says the Sullustan, staring at the binders.

 

“Ummmm?”  Poe looks to Finn, to Guailin, and then back to the Sullustan.  “What do you mean _ummmm_?”

 

“What I mean,” the Sullustan says, “is that these binders are booby trapped.  If we try to cut them off, they’re going to do serious damage to the two of you.  There’s a special code that needs to be input.”  He points to a series of buttons at the base of the cuff on Poe’s wrist.  “Here.”

 

“You have to be kriffing kidding me,” Finn says.

 

“Look, we don’t have the technology to break it here, but the code can be broken.  My guess is that you have adequate equipment at the Resistance base.  They’ll be able to get them off,” the Sullustan says.

 

“Fantastic,” Poe mutters.  “Looks like we’re going to get to know each other a whole lot better, buddy,” he says to Finn.

 

Finn closes his eyes.  _Could this mission get any worse?_   “You guys have a fresher?  Some food?”

 

“Sure,” says Guailin.  “We can take care of you tonight, get you as far as Tal’Harra tomorrow.  It’s a little town about seven klicks outside of Binjai-Tin.”

 

“Thanks,” Poe says.

 

“And thanks, Anal’a,” Finn adds.

 

The Twi’lek smiles.  “Come on, let me show you where you can get cleaned up and eat.”

 

**# # # #**

 

The fresher is…an experience.

 

Eating is awkward.

 

Now, they are back in a makeshift bedroom pushing two cots together so they can sleep.  Guailin walks in.  “Everything good?”

 

“Yeah.”  Poe asks, “What is this place?”

 

The older man smiles.  “There’s a lot of First Order activity here on Nag Ubdur, not to mention all of the disreputable types.”

 

“Like whoever drugged us,” Finn says.

 

“Yeah,” Guailin says.  “We’re a group that tries to help beings caught in the crossfire.”

 

“So, you’re like us,” Poe says.

 

“Not officially,” Guailin says.  “Leia is doing her thing.  We’re doing ours.  Same core principles, but this way, we can’t be captured and out you guys, but also, we’re so small, we’re not worth the Order’s time.”

 

“So a guerrilla organization trying to keep the people of Nag Ubdur safe,” Finn says.

 

“We try,” Guailin says.  He motions to the room.  “You guys good with the cots?”

 

“It’s fine,” Finn says, wondering just how he and Poe are going to make this work.  _Especially given last night…_  Finn stares for a beat too long at Poe.

 

“Um, yeah, we’re good,” Poe adds.  He looks at Finn _.  Aren’t we?_

 

“Yeah, we’re good,” Finn adds.  _We’re perfect_.

 

Guailin doesn’t miss Finn’s scowl or the bewildered look on Poe’s face.  “Okay then, well, we’ll see you in the morning.”  Guailin tries to smile, but ends up shaking his head and leaving. 

 

It’s suddenly very quiet.  Poe and Finn stare at each other.

 

 _What the fuck is your problem, Finn?_   Poe rolls back onto his heels.

 

 _Say something, Dameron,_ Finn thinks _.  Or did you use up all your words last night?_

 

“Ready to turn in,” Poe finally asks.

 

“Sure,” Finn says.  “I take the right cot and you take the left?”

 

“That’s the only way this is gonna work,” Poe says.  As he settles into his cot, he says, “’Night, Finn.”

 

“’Night, Poe.”  Finn looks over at Poe’s cot.  He frowns.  _Are we ever gonna talk about last night?_

 

“What is it, Finn,” Poe asks without opening his eyes.

 

_How does he do that?_

 

“Nothing,” Finn says.

 

“Nothing?”

 

Finn hesitates.  Poe turns his head and opens his eyes.  He lifts an eyebrow and says, “Really?”

 

 _Why did you say it?  Why did you get my hopes up?_   Finn closes his eyes as memories of the previous night come rushing at him.  “Just forget about it.  Get some sleep.”  Finn settles back down into the cot and closes his eyes.  “’Night, Poe.”

 

 _Really?_   “Night, Finn.”

 

Poe waits one full minute before opening his eyes and looking over at Finn’s still form.  There’s a crease between Finn’s eyes and Poe has to fight the urge to reach over and touch it.  Poe leans back onto his cot.  Something keeps pricking at the back of his mind—he’s forgetting something, something that happened last night. 

 

 _Something important_.

 

 


	2. Mr. and Mr. Soons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trek through a treacherous forest. Then, a night in a quaint little inn, where Poe and Finn are forced to pretend to be married. If that weren't bad enough, there's the shower and that one enormous bed.

 

 

Neither of them sleeps much.  Poe keeps fretting over what it is that he’s forgotten.  Finn keeps trying to tell himself to _just get over it already_.  And any time either of them start to drift off, there is the pull of the binders to remind them of their situation.

 

Needless to say, the next morning, they are both grumpy.

 

A fact that Guailin and the others do not miss.

 

Breakfast is tense, and Guailin’s people quickly decide it’s better not to talk than to try to engage the Resistance soldiers in conversation. 

 

After what seems like an eternity, Guailin rises and has an animated non-conversation with Ana’la.  If Poe weren’t so tired, he’d be laughing at the way the huge man and tiny Twi’lek seem to be arguing—via raised eyebrows and wide eyes mostly—over who has to talk to him and Finn.

 

Eventually, Guailin simply walks away, leaving a very flustered Ana’la.

 

Poe says, “So what’s up?”

 

“Um,” Anal’a says, “Guailin is going to take you to Tal’Harra.  And, um, you’ll probably have to stop there for the night,” she winces, waiting for either Poe or Finn to complain.  When neither does, she relaxes a bit and says, “but then it’s an easy walk into Binjai-Tin.”  She tries to smile but it looks more like a grimace.

 

 _Poor kid_ , Poe thinks.  He forces a smile.  “No worries.  Finn and I have seen worse.  Haven’t we, Finn?”  Finn mutters something that might be a _yes_ as Poe continues, “We’re grateful, Anal’a.  And I’m sorry if we seem grumpy.”  He holds up the binders.  “This has got us both a bit on edge.”  Then, hoping he’s getting his point across, he adds, “Hasn’t it, Finn?” 

 

Finn takes a breath and realizes that these people don’t deserve his bad mood.  “You guys have been great,” he says sincerely.  “We’re just anxious to get back to base and avoid any more run-ins with the Order.  Plus, we don’t want to put you guys in any undue danger.”

 

“I understand,” she says.  It’s not the whole truth, but it’s still nice to hear.  She leans forward to hug first Poe and then Finn.  “Be careful out there.”

 

Guailin comes back.  He’s got an overstuffed bag on his back.

 

Finn frowns.  “Do you need us to carry…”

 

“No, no, no!  It’s lighter than it looks.”

 

“Just where are we going,” Poe asks.

 

Guailin says, “The forest can be a bit tricky.  It tends to run a bit…wet.  And it can get cold at night.  I just want us to be prepared.”

 

Finn and Poe share a worried look.

 

Guailin laughs.  “I promise, it’s not that bad.”

 

**# # # #**

 

At some point, after they’ve been slogging through the forest for over an hour, Poe tries to decide if it might be better just to sit down and surrender to the Order than to continue forward.  His ribs are killing him, and he’s covered in sweat and mud—if he slips and falls one more time, he’s going to scream.  The forest is brutal.

 

And it’s made worse by how easily Guailin appears to just scramble over things.  The old man doesn’t have a speck of dirt on him.  Even Finn looks like he’s ready to give up, but Guailin is unphased.  As Guailin gracefully jumps over a puddle of something dark brown, Poe turns and shares a look with Finn, who just shakes his head and mutters, “Seriously!”

 

Guailin laughs.  “The first three years I lived here, I got stuck in this blasted forest enough times that I became pretty sure I was gonna die out here.  I’ve had another ten years to get used to it on top of that.”  He turns back to look at his dirty, panting companions.  “I only make it look easy because I’ve had practice.”  He smiles and jumps over a log.

 

“Yeah, right,” Poe grumbles.

 

Finn snorts in agreement.

 

About twenty feet later, Poe stumbles, but Finn catches him before he can hit the ground.  “Thanks, buddy,” Poe says, squeezing the arm Finn used to brace him.  He looks up into Finn’s face, and for a moment, whatever anger Finn’s been feeling is gone.  Poe smiles.  Finn smiles back. 

 

“No worries, flyboy.”

 

 _Flyboy_ makes every part of Poe’s body tingle.  As he gets his feet back under him, he decides that maybe the forest isn’t so bad after all.

 

**# # # #**

 

Six hours later, neither Poe nor Finn has the energy to feel angry or happy or much of anything.  They simply keep putting one foot in front of the other.

 

When the trees start clearing and they can hear the sounds of what must be a nearby town, both of them resist the urge to cry for joy.

 

“Finally,” Poe manages.

 

He and Finn stop, and Finn braces his hands on his legs, taking in a deep breath.  “I should have the Pathfinders training here.  I’m pretty sure…”  He pauses for another breath.  “I’m pretty sure that is about the roughest patch of terrain I’ve been through in a long while.”

 

Poe laughs.  “I’m just relieved that I wasn’t the only one who felt like he was going to die back there.”

 

Guailin smiles.  It’s nice to see the two of them joking and paling around.  They’d both been so tense last night and this morning.  Guailin points up ahead.  “That will be Tal’Harra.”  He looks down at the binders.  “Ummmmm,” he says, scratching the back of his neck.  “Maybe you two should wait here.”  Finn raises an eyebrow.  “It’s just that while most of the beings here have no love for the Order, I can’t guarantee that Tal’Harra is one-hundred percent safe and…”

 

“We need to hide the binders,” Finn says, studying his and Poe’s hands.

 

Poe bites into his lip and pulls down the jacket he’s wearing.  It covers the cuff.  Finn does the same and then sighs, realizing that while that will get them halfway there, there is still the chain.  _Dammit._   Finn takes a deep breath and grabs Poe’s hand, gathering up the chain with it.  He looks up at Guailin.

 

Guailin nods.  “That should work.”  He smiles and ushers them into the small town.

 

Poe is praying that he’s not shaking too badly.  For some reason, even with the pissy mood Finn has been in since yesterday, the _flyboy_ earlier coupled with way Finn grabbed his hand just now...  Poe takes in a sharp breath.  _Focus, Dameron.  He’s just trying to keep us alive_.  Still, he can’t help sneaking a look at their joined hands.

 

They walk silently through the small town—Poe and Finn acutely aware that they must look a sight.  Finn studies Poe.  The pilot’s hair is plastered to his forehead and he has a smudge of dirt on his left cheek.  He rolls his eyes. _Poe Dameron can even make dirt look adorable_.

 

Poe tries to look happy and natural.  But his instinct is to keep scanning the people on the street, trying to keep an eye open for First Order sympathizers.  Plus, it’s hard to look natural when he’s painfully aware of his hand in Finn’s.  And, the sweat glistening off Finn’s forehead isn’t helping because it’s just so kriffing sexy and…  _Focus, Dameron!_

 

Guailin stops.  “There’s an inn up ahead.  Let me go and see if I can get you two a room.”  He motions for them to stay where they are and jogs off.

 

 _Maybe he’s gotten over whatever had him so pissed._   “So,” Poe says.

 

“So,” Finn says.

 

“Look, Finn,” Poe starts.  “I don’t know what was going on earlier, but…”

 

Finn’s whole demeanor changes.  Poe watches the anger wash over his friend.  “Poe,” Finn says from behind teeth clenched in an unconvincing smile.  “I just want to get to the room, clean up, go to sleep, and finish this blasted mission.”

 

“Of course,” Poe says.  “Whatever you want.”  Poe plasters on his own fake smile.

 

Guailin emerges from the building and jogs back over.  He doesn’t miss how the mood has changed since he’s been gone.  “Well, good news and bad news.”

 

“What is it,” Poe asks.

 

“Well, they have a room and I’ve paid for it, so you’re set for the night, and then tomorrow, it should be an easy walk back to Binjai-Tin.”  Guailin frowns.  “And I really wish I could send someone with you.  It’s just that with the uptick in First Order activity, we really can’t risk…”

 

Poe raises his free hand.  “We understand, Guailin.  You’ve already done more than enough.” 

 

Guailin shakes his head. “Yeah, speaking of which…”  He lets out a sigh.  “The only thing is,” Guailin starts, clearly uncomfortable with what he has to say, “Tal’Harra runs a bit on the…traditional side of things.”  He looks down.  “And well, the inn has the room and all but…”

 

Poe makes a frustrated noise.  “The idea of two men sharing a room is gonna be a problem, I take it?”

 

“Two _unmarried_ men, yes,” Guailin answers, still refusing to meet their eyes.

 

Finn takes a moment to process what Guailin has said.  “Wait,” he says, trying to keep his voice from getting too loud.  “Are you saying that Poe and I have to,” he leans in and hisses, “pretend to be married?”

 

Guailin finally looks up.  “I’m afraid so.”  He looks from Finn to Poe, his eyes pleading for forgiveness.

 

 _Yep, that sounds about right._   Poe lets out a long sigh.  “It’s okay, buddy.  We’ll work with it.”  He clasps Guailin’s shoulder and squeezes it.  “It’s just for one night.”

 

Guailin offers Finn a weak smile.

 

 _Calm down_ , Finn tells himself.  _It’s not his fault_.  “Yeah, we’ll be fine,” he says, hoping he sounds more sure than he feels.

 

Guailin’s smile broadens.  “They’re expecting Mr. and Mr. Soons.  I figured you’d want an alias just in case.”  He hands them his pack.  “Just a change of clothes and few other things.  It may get cold tomorrow on your walk back.”

 

“Thanks, Guailin,” Poe says.  And then, he realizes that Guailin is going to have to slog back through the forest that just took them seven hours to traverse.  “Hey, buddy, are you sure you don’t need to…”  He gestures towards the inn.

 

Guailin chuckles.  “Oh, no worries.  Without the two of you slowing me down, I should make it back to our camp in a few hours.”  Clearly enjoying the shock on Poe’s and Finn’s faces, Guailin says, “Tell your father I said hello, Poe.”

 

“Will do,” Poe says.

 

“And take care of yourselves.”  With a wave, Guailin turns back towards the forest.

 

Poe and Finn stand watching him until he disappears into the trees.

 

“So,” says Poe, rocking back on his heels.

 

“So,” says Finn.

 

“I guess we should go to the inn?” Poe nods towards the quaint three-story building.

 

Finn closes his eyes.  _It’s just for the night_ , he reminds himself _.  You can pretend just for the night_.  He opens his eyes and looks down—he’d forgotten that he’s still holding Poe’s hand.  _I can do this_.  “Lead the way,” he says, realizing how tight his voice sounds.

 

Poe wants to rip the blasted binders off their wrists, and then he really wants to have it out with Finn, because best friend or not, Poe’s had it with the attitude.  He takes a calming breath.  _I can do this_ , he tells himself, plastering a fake smile on his face as they enter the inn.  _Just one more night._

 

“Hello,” Poe says, far too cheerfully.  “I think you have a room waiting for me and my husband.  The name is Soons.”

 

The small humanoid behind the desk smiles at him as she gives them the once-over.  Poe chances a glance at Finn, who is at least pretending to be happy.  Poe relaxes a bit.  _We’re professionals.  We can do this._

 

“And how long are you here, Mr. Soons?”

 

“Just the night, I’m afraid,” Poe says.

 

“Will you and your husband be joining us for dinner this evening?”

 

Both Poe and Finn are starved, but the absurd notion that they’d be able to hide the binders during a meal makes both of them pause.

 

“I don’t think so,” Finn says.  “I think we’re going to make it an early night.”  He pulls Poe closer and smiles at his “husband.” 

 

The humanoid blushes.  “Of course,” she says.  She looks down at her datapad.  “We have you in the Moonlight Serenade room.  I think you’ll like it.”  She leans forward and with a conspiratorial whisper adds, “It’s very romantic.”

  
Poe rubs his nose against Finn’s and whispers back to her, “Sounds great.”

 

When she turns around to type something, Finn glares at Poe, whose smile beams.  _Come at me, Finn.  I dare you._

 

When the humanoid turns back around, Finn’s glare has been replaced with a tender look, but his hand is now digging into Poe’s.

 

She says, “It’s this way.”

 

“After you, _sweetie_ ,” Finn says.

 

Poe’s pretty sure he’s lost feeling in his hand.  “No, after you, _darling_.”

 

Finn tugs none too gently and Poe practically falls into the hallway.  “Careful, dear,” Finn says.  “He’s so clumsy,” he says to the humanoid. 

 

She giggles.

 

The humanoid shows them to their room—a grotesquely pink space taken up almost entirely by a huge round bed.  Poe fights to keep his fake smile in place as he takes in the enormity of that _one bed_.  The humanoid stands at the doorway and hands Finn the key.  “I hope you enjoy your evening,” she says, a sly smile spreading across her face suggesting that she expects they won’t be doing much sleeping that night.

 

“Thanks,” Finn says.

 

Poe gives her a wave as she closes the door.  As soon as it latches shut, he jerks his hand out of Finn’s. 

 

Finn can’t help himself.  “Sorry, _dear._   I thought we were supposed to be madly in love.”

 

Poe resists the urge to snap back and instead stares at the bed.  _Of course it’s one bed._ Images of him and Finn on the bed in all sorts of compromising positions flood his mind.

 

Finn’s voice drags him back to reality.  “We need to get cleaned up,” Finn says—the same way he might say _we need to go face that firing squad._

 

“Yeah,” Poe says.  He walks over to the fresher and peers in.  “It’s water.”

 

“Figures,” Finn says.  _As if a sonic would be any better_. _I’m still going to have to deal with a very naked Poe Dameron._

 

“So, how are we planning on doing this?”  Poe points to the binders and then frowns.  “And what about our clothes?”

 

 _Fragging hell!  The pants are fine but our shirts and jackets..._ Finn sighs.  “Either we cut them off or we get them wet.”

 

Poe looks at himself in the mirror.  He’s covered in dirt and leaves and _is that slime?_   He sighs.  “I think mine are beyond saving.”

 

Finn looks down at himself and comes to the same conclusion.  “Yeah, I think we’re gonna have to ditch the shirts and jackets.”

 

“You gotta knife,” Poe asks.

 

Finn pulls one from his boot and hands it to Poe, who gets his shirt and jacket off to the point where both are hanging on the binders.  He shakes his head.  “I liked this jacket.”  He cuts into the jacket.  It falls to the floor, quickly followed by his shirt.

 

Finn makes a point of not looking at Poe’s chest.  He reaches for the knife and concentrates his whole being on _not looking at Poe_.  His shirt and jacket join Poe’s on the floor.

 

They have to take turns untying their boots and getting their pants off.  Again, Finn tries his hardest not to look—he’s been living with Poe for the last year, so he’s perfected the art of _not looking_ —but still, being this close makes it difficult.

 

As Finn starts untying his boots, Poe stands there, naked, the binders pulling him this way and that.  He’s trying hard not to be self-conscious.  It’s hard when Finn’s perfect chest is right there, just begging to be touched.  _What in the kriff are we doing here_ , Poe thinks to himself, sparing a glance at the shower and realizing that water is just going to make things about a million times worse.

 

Finn stands with a resigned sigh.  “Okay, let’s get this over with.”

 

They walk over and Poe starts the water, fiddling with the nobs until it’s coming out warm.  He then motions for Finn to go in and follows, begging himself, _please do not get hard.  Please, for all that is sacred, do not get hard._  As he watches the water cascade down Finn’s chest, he fights a moan that wants to escape.

 

Finn meanwhile is repeating the mantra, _don’t make this weird_ over and over again in his head.  He’s trying to keep his eyes up, but they keep darting down to where Poe’s chest makes that perfect V with his thighs and the trail of hair that leads to…  _Eyes up!_

 

Poe takes the soap and begins lathering himself.  He closes his eyes and hums as he passes his head under the water.  _Just focus on how good it feels to be clean._

Finn watches him, fighting the urge to help Poe scrub his chest, his pecs, his back, that perfect ass…  _Eyes up, Finn!_

 

Poe hands the soap to Finn and shifts so Finn can dunk his head under the water.  Finn closes his eyes.  _I can do this.  I’ve showered with other guys before.  I’m a solider, a professional._   As his hip brushes against Poe’s, he clenches his teeth.  _Please maker, just kill me now._

 

As Poe’s hip brushes against Finn’s, he fights back a sob.  He turns his back on Finn and squeezes his eyes shut.  _Why in the galaxy am I doing this to myself?_

 

“Do you want me to get your back,” he hears Finn ask.

 

“Uh, yeah, sure.  Thanks.”  _FRAGGING HELL.  KILL ME NOW!_

 

 _What in the kriff am I doing_ , Finn thinks as he takes the soap and makes lazy circles up and down Poe’s back, dipping dangerously close to that perfect, yummy…  _I just want to sink my teeth into it_ , he thinks, hearing a moan escape his lips.

 

“What,” Poe says.

 

“Uh, can you do me?”  Finn passes the soap over.

 

“Sure.  Yeah, buddy.”  _I can do you_.  Poe takes the soap with a shaky hand.  He looks up to the ceiling, begging whatever deities are listening to _please let me get through this without doing anything creepy._

 

Finn focuses on the tiled walls of the shower as Poe’s hand does quick circles up and down his back.  _This is normal.  Just one friend helping out another.  We need to get clean.  And maker help me, could this feel any better._   Finn squeezes his eyes shut.

 

Poe’s keeps telling himself, _He’s my friend.  I can’t hit on him.  He’s my friend.  I can’t…  Seriously, no one has a right to have an ass that perfect._   “Kriffing hell,” Poe whispers.

 

“What,” Finn asks.

 

“Oh, nothing,” Poe says, all too chipper.  “Finished.”

 

They each rinse off.  Poe switches off the water and they step out.  Finn grabs his towel and hands Poe his.  They’re silent as they dry off.

 

Finn’s voice is rough as he says, “We should try to get some sleep.”

 

“Yeah,” Poe says, still trying to keep his eyes anywhere but Finn and failing miserably.  “Sleep.”

Finn nods to the pack Guailin gave them and Poe opens it up.  He laughs, pulling out two ponchos.  “Guailin thought ahead.”

 

“Oh that’s brilliant,” Finn says, taking one of them.

 

Thankfully, Guailin also found some wrap shirts so they only have to cut the sleeves to accommodate their cuffs. 

 

After they inspect the rest of the contents of the pack, they both move to dress for the night.  Neither says a word.  There are grunts when one needs his hand, and the other accommodates, but they both try their best to ignore the other.

 

Poe’s running monologue in his mind centers on the fact _that I’ve shared a room with this moof-milker for the past year.  I can do this.  I can do this._   If his _I can do this_ ’s are starting to sound a bit strained, he chalks it up to being tired.

 

Finn’s mind keeps repeating _It’s just a bed.  It’s just two friends in bed.  It doesn’t mean anything.  It’s just a bed._   He can’t help it if he whimpers a bit as they settle in, adjusting the covers and moving the pillows. 

 

They both try to put as much space between them as possible.

 

Poe reaches for the light switch.  “Night, Finn.”

 

“Night,” Finn says.  He lets out a long breath as they’re plunged into darkness.  _It’s just a bed._

**# # # #**

 

Poe can’t figure out where he is or what time it is.  The only things he knows for sure are:

  * It’s dark.
  * He’s warm and comfy and doesn’t want to move.
  * Well, except for his arm, but screw his arm.
  * He’s nestled into someone’s chest and that someone’s legs are tangled with his—and whoever it is, he’s strong and firm and warm and…



 

_Oh kriff, that’s Finn.  Oh kriffing hell, I’m snuggling Finn._

_Oh kriff oh kriff oh kriff ohkriffkriffkriffkriffkriff!!!!!!!_

_Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck my life._

 

Finn, meanwhile, is awake.  He’s been awake for the past half hour.  In that time, he has come to realize:

  * It’s still dark, so it’s probably not morning yet.
  * He’s warm and comfy and doesn’t want to move.
  * Except for his arm, which is at a strange angle, but who cares?
  * Because he has someone draped over him. Someone warm and firm, who smells like engine oil and exotic flowers and…



 

_Noooooooooo!  Please maker, tell me this isn’t happening._

_What do I do?_

_What do I do?!?!!!_

_Do I wake him up?_

_Do I push him off?_

_Do I just lie here and enjoy this while I can?_

 

He’s been asking himself these questions this whole time, but every thought leaves his head as he realizes that Poe is awake too.  _Shit._

 

Neither one moves.  Neither one speaks.  They both freeze in their positions, trying to pretend they don’t know the other one is awake.

 

Eventually, they both fall back asleep—tense, but also still wrapped up around each other.  It’s no wonder that they both dream of being together, happy, snuggling without having to be cuffed.

 

**# # # #**

 

Neither speaks beyond the awkward, “You first,” “No, you first” exchanges while they are getting dressed the next morning.

 

They’ve overslept, and by Finn’s calculations, they are going to have to keep a brisk pace if they want to make Binjai-Tin before nightfall. 

 

They set off in the direction of the city, trying to stay close to the main road without being too conspicuous.

 

After about a half-hour of walking though, they spot a First Order patrol and decide to abandon the road and walk through a wooded area instead.

 

“At least it’s not as bad as yesterday,” Poe says, as they begin traipsing over logs and through underbrush.

 

“Yeah,” Finn says.  “Still gonna cut into our time though.”

 

For a while, both are content just to walk in silence, but eventually, Poe decides to press his luck.  “Finn,” he says.

 

“Um?”

 

“Are we ever gonna talk about whatever it is that—”

 

“Dameron, this isn’t the time or the place.”

 

“As I figure, it is.  Not like there’s anything else to do, or like there’s anyone else around.”

 

Finn sighs.  “Fine.  What do you want to know?”

 

“What’s got you so pissy these past few days?”

 

Finn clenches his hands into fists.  “I’m _pissy_ ,” Finn says, being sure to place extra emphasis on that word, “because you’re acting like that night in the cantina didn’t happen.”  He unclenches his fists and lets out a long breath.  “I mean, it’s fine if you want to pretend nothing happened, that you didn’t say…”  Finn takes in a long breath.  “I get it man, I really do.”

 

“Wait, this is about the cantina?”

 

Finn rolls his eyes.  “Yeah, Dameron, this is about the cantina.  But like I said, if you don’t want to talk about it, we aren’t going to talk about it.”

 

“Woah there, buddy!  Who says I don’t want to talk about it!  I don’t remember,” Poe says.  “What did I say, Finn?  What did I do?”

 

Finn stomps along silently for several steps.

 

“Come on, buddy.  It’s gotta be something pretty bad because you have been an absolute dick for the past few days and—”

 

Finn stops and grabs Poe by the shirt, jerking him in.  “You need to be really careful what you say next, Dameron.”

 

Poe knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t help it: “Or what, Finn,” he asks in a low voice.

 

Poe feels Finn’s muscles tense.  He can see Finn trying to keep his anger in check.  A part of him wants Finn to hit him, just to break this awful stalemate they’ve gotten themselves into.

 

Finn pushes Poe away and starts walking again.  “Come on, we need to reach Binjai-Tin before dark.”

 

Poe allows himself to get drug along for a few feet before he pushes his luck.  “What did I do, Finn?”  He isn’t taunting anymore.  It is a sincere question.  _How did I fuck us up?_

 

Finn walks on in silence, refusing to acknowledge Poe’s existence, his mind on what happened three nights ago.

 

Because three nights ago, Poe and Finn walked into a seedy cantina on the outskirts of Binjai-Tin, and Finn’s whole universe got turned upside-down. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Drunken Confessions and Abandoned Cabins...


	3. It Doesn't Mean Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rewinding to find out what Poe said in the cantina.
> 
> But then, back to the present where Poe and Finn are forced to shack up in an abandoned cabin and huddle together for warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also known as the chapter where this fic earns its E rating, but also the chapter where I get a bit angsty (or well, Finn gets a bit angsty).

 

 

**Three nights ago, Binjai-Tin:**

The mission had been to recon a few suspected First Order outposts in the city and talk to some Resistance contacts—a relatively simple and un-strenuous task to ease Poe back into the field. 

 

Their scouting completed, Poe insisted on a celebratory drink.  The General had ordered them to keep a low profile on Nag Ubdur, so Finn was reluctant, but Poe fluttered his eyelashes and hit Finn with a “Buddy, pleeeeeease?” and Finn knew he was a goner.  Poe added, “Come on.  It’s been forever since we’ve gotten to hang out.”

 

It wasn’t exactly true.  Finn had spent the better part of the last three weeks in med bay keeping Poe company while he recovered from the crash, but Finn still sighed and said, “One drink.”

 

That had been four drinks ago.

 

Poe was a handsy drunk; Finn knew this, but tonight he seemed especially handsy—one arm slung over Finn’s shoulder, the other touching his arm or his leg.  Poe leaned in as he spoke, and Finn was just buzzed enough to give back a bit of it as well.  He slanted himself so that one of his hands could find Poe’s leg and hold it.  _It’s not real, but I’ll take what I can get_ , he remembered thinking.  He’d been in love with Dameron for so long at this point, he’d take any scraps the Commander offered.

 

And that was the process in Finn’s brain—yes, Poe’s hands were all over him; yes, Poe was whispering delicious things into Finn’s ear, but Finn couldn’t trust what was happening.  _It can’t be real,_ the voice in his head kept repeating because if there was one thing Finn had learned in the Order, it was that he couldn’t trust his instincts when it came to interpersonal relations.  In the Order, he’d kept caring, kept reaching out, kept trying to help, and Phasma and the others had made it clear that that was wrong. 

 

Coming to the Resistance, those instincts—the desire to go rescue a friend no matter what the odds, to put yourself on the line for others, to care—were lauded, and yet, that nagging doubt remained.  Finn just couldn’t shake it.  Twenty-three years with the Order had made it so that Finn couldn’t trust what he was feeling.  Especially when it came to Poe.

 

Because Poe was friendly and affectionate and flirty with everyone.

 

 _It doesn’t mean anything_ , he kept telling himself. 

 

**# # # #**

 

After several rounds of something pink and sweet, Poe slurred out, “Dance.”

 

“What,” Finn had to yell a bit to be heard over the music and other patrons.

 

“Gonna dance now,” Poe said, sliding out of the booth.  He grabbed Finn’s hand and drug him to the floor.

 

It was loud and hot and filled with bodies, but soon, Finn forgot everything but the man pressed up against him.  They were swaying and weaving to the pounding rhythm of the music.  Or at least, they were trying to.  There was no coordination—it was sloppy and messy but that didn’t matter.  Finn was still pretty sure this was some sort of elaborate torture: allowing Poe to rub up against him like he meant it.  Finn closed his eyes and groaned into it. 

 

_It doesn’t mean anything._

 

Eventually, Poe’s mouth found Finn’s neck and as Poe started licking and sucking, Finn held him there, his own head falling back as he just let it happen.  Poe worked up to Finn’s mouth and then, they stilled. 

 

While beings of all shapes and sizes danced around them, they wrapped their hands around each other and kissed as if they were going into battle tomorrow.  Poe’s hands cupping the sides of Finn’s face.  Finn’s hands grabbing Poe’s hair and pulling him in.  It was everything Finn had dreamed it would be, and for one sweet moment, Finn let himself believe it… 

 

_It doesn’t mean anything._

 

Finn tore himself away from Poe.  Poe started to follow, opening his eyes to chase the kiss.  Whatever he saw there startled him.  “No,” Poe asked.

 

Finn opened his mouth but nothing came.  _I can’t do this.  It means too much to me and not enough to you._

 

Poe’s eyes scrunched in concern.  He took Finn’s hand.  “Come on.”  He pulled Finn back to their booth, suddenly sounding far more sober than he had in hours, “What’s wrong?”

 

“Poe, I just…”  _Dammit, Finn, get it together_.

 

“Look, man, if you aren’t into it, I’m sorry.  I just thought that…”  Poe shook his head and blinked several times.  “The drinks were a bad idea, huh?”  He laughed the fakest laugh Finn had ever heard.  “It’s okay, man.  I get it.  You just don’t think of me that way.  I shouldn’t have pressed it.”  Poe scrubbed his hands over his face.  “Fuck.”

 

Poe sounded genuinely disappointed, and there was a spark of hope in Finn’s chest that he hadn’t felt before.  _Dameron are you trying to tell me…_   “Poe?”

 

Poe kept his eyes on the table.

 

“Poe?”

 

“No, it’s all good, Finn.  I promise.  I’m okay.”

 

 _He doesn’t sound okay_. 

 

“Poe?”

 

Poe looked up; his eyes were red and watery and at the sight of that, something in Finn broke free.

 

_What if it does mean something?_

 

Finn surged forward, pressing his lips onto Poe’s with such an intensity that Poe fell back a bit.  Poe made a startled noise but it quickly transformed into a hungry moan.  And soon enough, Poe was on the bench with Finn on top of him.  Poe’s hands worked under Finn’s shirt while Finn’s hands carded through Poe’s curls.

 

“Maker, Finn, you have no idea…”  Poe let out a noise as Finn started kissing at his neck.  “Wanted this for so long…”  After a while, Poe was just muttering nonsense, but there were words in there, phrases, that made Finn’s insides flutter.

 

“Can’t believe…”

 

“…so fragging beautiful, Finn.”

 

“…lucky…”

 

“Yeeeessssssss…”

 

“Oh maker, yes!”

 

“I’ve loved you for…”

 

Finn lurched up, trying to catch his breath so he could ask Poe to repeat that last thing.  _Did you just say what I think you said?_   That’s when it hit—the entire cantina seemed to be spinning.  “Poe,” he managed.

 

“Yeah, buddy?”  Poe was trying to pull him back down.

 

“Poe,” Finn said.  Everything was getting dimmer and his head felt heavy.  From somewhere far away, he could hear Poe’s voice saying his name. 

 

“Poe,” Finn tried to get out as everything went black and he fell forward with a thud.

 

**# # # #**

 

Two days ago, Finn woke up in a rusty cell in an old Imperial Cruiser cuffed to Poe Dameron.  He didn’t know where he was or what had happened to them, but he very much remembered the night before.

 

In particular, he remembered what Poe had said just before he’d passed out.

 

When Poe woke up and didn’t say anything, Finn was a bit on edge.  _Maybe he’s embarrassed._

_Maybe he’s waiting to talk about it until we’re safe._

_Maybe he didn’t mean it._  

 

_…Oh maker, that’s it, isn’t it?_

_It didn’t mean anything._

 

Finn felt the entire universe suddenly tilt back into its normal slot as his mind went back over the past year: Poe was easy with his “I love you”s.  At different times, Finn had heard him tell that to everyone from Iolo to the beings cleaning trays in the mess.  Poe also hugged everyone, and he had pet names for them.  Poe constantly threw his arms around every being on base—heck, he practically lived his life hanging off his friends.  And he always broke into a smile when someone new came into a room.

 

_I’m not special._

 

_Poe’s just affectionate._

_That was him being drunk._

_It didn’t mean anything._

 

Finn squared his shoulders and made a decision: _gotta put on a brave face.  Last thing I want to do is be some sort of clingy kid who can’t take a hint._

Still, Finn figured that once everything had settled—when they were alone—they’d at least talk about it.  Poe would give him the speech about how their friendship meant a lot to him and how Poe hoped they could just move past it.  He’d make some joke about not ever drinking again, and that would be that.  Finn would be heartbroken, but at least they would acknowledge it, finally get it all out in the open.

 

When Poe didn’t bring it up, Finn figured Poe was trying to pretend it never happened.  _Fine_ , he thought.  _Two can play that game_.

 

He hadn’t counted on how much it was going to hurt…

 

**# # # #**

 

 **The Present, a forest just outside** **Binjai-Tin:**

Finn hasn’t said anything for over an hour.

 

Poe keeps chewing his lip.  Finally, he concedes.  _We aren’t making it back to town tonight_.  “We need to call it, Finn,” he says, his blatant shivering helping to make his point.  Even with the ponchos that Guailin gave them, they are both cold.  It’s also getting hard to see in the fading light.

 

“It’s only another klick or so,” Finn says.

 

“We aren’t going to make it before it’s dark, Finn,” Poe says.  “And one of us is going to get hurt if we try to navigate this in the dark.  It looks like there’s a cabin or something up ahead.  I say if it looks friendly, we bunk there for the night.”

 

Finn closes his eyes.  _Another night tethered to Poe_.  _This has to be some sort of punishment for something bad I did in a previous life, right?_

 

The cabin is uninhabited.  By the looks of it, no one has been to it in years.  Its previous occupants have left a single bed, a nice thick blanket, and a lantern.  There’s a wood-burning stove in the corner that Finn frowns at.  “No wood,” he says.

 

Poe fiddles with the lantern and it lights, casting the small space in a bluish light.  “We’ll be okay,” he says.  “It can’t get that cold, right?”

 

**# # # #**

 

Three hours later as he lies shivering on the tiny bed, trying his hardest not to touch Finn, Poe is regretting that statement.

 

Eventually, his warm Yavin IV blood has had enough.  “Finn,” he says.

 

“Yeah,” Finn says, wide awake.  _It is so kriffing cold in here_.

 

“We gotta do something about this.”

 

“This?”

 

“The cold,” Poe says.  _You idiot_ is implied.

 

“Yeah, right,” Finn says.  “Any ideas?”

 

Poe closes his eyes and curses the universe.  He sighs.  “Best idea would be to huddle together for warmth.”

 

“Yeah,” Finn agrees. He looks up at the ceiling.  _Doesn’t this crap only happen in bad porn?_

 

“Actually,” Poe starts. 

 

 _There’s more_ , Finn thinks.

 

Poe stops.  _Don’t go there.  Do not push this_.

 

“Actually what,” Finn asks.  _I’m so gonna regret this._

 

 _Krifffffffff!_  Poe tries with all of his might to sound casual, like what he’s about to suggest is something he does every day.  “Actually, skin on skin is best.  Direct body heat trapped by the blanket or covering.”

 

 _Of course, it is!_   Finn bites his lip so hard, he’s pretty sure it’s bleeding.  He lets out a long sigh.  _Can’t be worse than the fragging shower_.  “Yeah, sure.”

 

 _Wait what?  He’s gonna go for that?_   “So, you’re saying?”

 

“I’m saying that it’s kriffing freezing in here, Dameron, and I’d like to warm up a bit and get some sleep.”

 

“Okay,” Poe says.  _Okay.  I can do this.  I can huddle naked with Finn.  Yeah.  I can totally huddle with a naked Finn_.  Poe closes his eyes. “So, ummmm?”

 

“Yeah,” Finn says, sitting up.

 

They begin taking off their clothes.  It’s a slow process, and neither is willing to talk or make eye contact.  When they’re both down to their underwear and socks, Poe frowns.  _I can’t spend the night looking at him, not like this_.  He says, “How about I take big spoon?”

 

“So, how would we?  I mean, my hand would go?”

 

“I’ll get behind you and…” He points at Finn’s hip.  “Just put it there or whatever.  My hand will be fine.”

 

Finn nods and scoots into the bed, pulling the blanket up.  Poe moves into place behind Finn.  He tries to get close without actually touching the other man.  “This okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Finn just barely manages.  _This is such a bad idea_.

 

Poe pulls in just a bit closer—still not touching, but so close that he might as well be.  Finn closes his eyes, trying not to make a noise _at just how good this feels_.  He’s going to cry if he’s not careful; he rests his cuffed hand on his hip.

 

Poe instinctively puts his free hand over Finn’s.

 

 _WHAT?!?_   Finn wants to jerk his hand away, but he doesn’t.  _It’s fine_ , Finn tells himself.  _This is fine.  I can do this_.

 

 _What the kriff_ , Poe’s brain screams as he realizes where his hand is.  _You stupid fragging nerf-herder!  What are you doing? Why would you put your hand there, Poe?!?!?!_ Poe is already fighting hard against every instinct in his body.  His treacherous body that wants him to press even closer, to put his lips on Finn’s neck and run his fingers up Finn’s arm.  He shivers, and it’s not from the cold.“Finn,” he croaks out.

 

“Yeah,” Finn’s voice is wobbly.

 

“Night?”

 

“Yeah, ‘night,” Finn just barely manages.

 

Poe lies there, shaking and staring at Finn’s beautiful skin, imagining what it would be like to taste it, to feel it with his hands.  _Oh maker, I am such a bad person._  

 

Finn has never felt more awake in his life.  _This was such a bad idea._

 

**# # # #**

 

At some point, he must have finally dozed because the sound of Poe’s voice jerks him awake.

 

“Finn?”

 

“Yeah,” Finn’s voice is rough.

 

“I…”  Poe leans forward and his breath is warm on Finn’s neck.  He whispers, “Oh maker, Finn, please?”

 

 _Please?  Please what, Poe?_  Finn squeezes his eyes shut.  He knows exactly what Poe is asking.  _Fuck_.  He tries to warn himself: _you’re not special.  It doesn’t mean anything to him._ But then Finn hears his self-preservation crumble as he breathes out, “yes.”

 

Poe presses his lips to the back of Finn’s neck, and it’s like an electrical current.  Finn’s whole body tenses.  “Finn,” he whispers as he runs his lips and then his teeth across the back of Finn’s neck.  He hums as he lets his lips skim.  “Finn,” he whispers again.  It’s a prayer of thanks.  “Finn.”

 

Finn’s eyes are squeezed so tight it hurts, and every time Poe’s mouth touches him, he wants to scream.  He’s trembling and making these small, pleading noises.  Poe’s stubble rubs across his neck and Finn’s pretty sure this is what it must feel like to die.  As Poe’s nibbles turn a bit rougher, he sobs out.  He just wants to drown in the sensation.

 

“I know, baby,” Poe whispers, kissing his neck again.  “I know.”  Poe’s breaths are uneven and his voice is all low and husky.  He’s nuzzling up into Finn’s hair now, just breathing Finn in and pressing his lips wherever he can.  Finn chokes out a low moan and he can hear Poe purr in satisfaction.

 

 _I need to see him_.  “Move on top of me,” Finn stutters. 

 

“Hell yes,” Poe says, scrambling to oblige.

 

As Poe straddles him, Finn’s breath hitches.  Poe’s eyes are wide and he looks so kriffing hopeful and happy and Finn wants to believe it, wants to let himself trust the feeling inside him that says, _this is all for you_.

 

Finn grabs Poe’s head and draws him into a kiss.  Poe sighs into it as Finn’s hand tightens on the back of his head.  The brush of Poe’s stubble against his lips tingles and hurts all at the same time, and Finn’s not sure how much more of this he can take.  He’s already forgetting how to breathe.  It feels so damn good. 

 

As they break apart, they’re both panting.  Poe smiles and starts dotting kisses along Finn’s neck, down his chest—feather light little kisses as his free hand caresses and explores.  Finn’s eyes flutter closed as Poe starts talking in-between the kisses.  “Gonna take,” kiss, “such good,” kiss, “care of you,” kiss, “Finn.”  Kiss. “Been wanting,” kiss,” this,” kiss, “for so long.”  Kiss, kiss, kiss.

 

Finn drinks it up, lets it wash over him.  He grins as Poe’s lips quickly work back up his chest to his mouth.  For a moment, Poe hovers there, his lips centimeters from Finn’s, as he stares into Finn’s eyes.  The look terrifies Finn in the best possible way—it looks so real, so genuine.  It’s the kind of look he could find himself believing.  Poe lightly touches his lips to Finn’s.

 

Finn can’t think when his lips are pressed into Poe’s and time ceases to have any meaning.  It might be ten seconds and it might be ten hours.  He doesn’t know; he doesn’t care.  Everything comes down to this sensation, this kriffing wonderful sensation, and Finn is lightheaded as he pulls out of it to gasp for air.

 

Finn’s free hand moves up to grasp Poe’s cheek and he marvels at how Poe’s stubble feels against his hand and how the sensation changes when he rubs his lips against it.  It’s scratchy and kind of tickly and he has to fight against pulling away, it feels so good.  He hears himself growl into Poe’s stubble as he works his way down Poe’s jaw to his throat.  That’s how he feels—primal, wonton.  He sucks on Poe’s neck.  _Mine_ , he thinks, and he can sense Poe’s eyes falling shut as Poe starts back in with his rambling commentary.  “Oh maker, Finn…yes…please…yes, Finn…yes…yes…right there, baby…oh please…”  Poe’s whole body goes rigid.

 

Finn’s body responds.  He digs his fingers into Poe’s arm as he stops and finds Poe’s lips, taking another kiss, and then bringing his free hand up to card through Poe’s curls.  They’re thick and velvety, so unlike his own hair.  His fingers explore and Poe presses into it.  Finn’s lips skip across Poe’s cheek—such soft, soft skin there—before he’s back into that wonderful stubble. 

 

As Finn’s free hand tangles in Poe’s hair, he tries to move the other hand and feels the pull of the binders.  _Really want both hands here_ , he thinks.  He groans in frustration and refocuses his efforts.  When he gives an experimental tug to a curl, Poe cries out, “Yes,” and Finn’s whole body starts quivering.  Finn manages a chuckle.  “You like that?”

 

“Oh stars yes, Finn.”  Poe sounds absolutely wrecked and it’s the best thing Finn has ever heard.

 

 _Please don’t let this end.  Don’t ever let this end._ Finn’s free hand skims down Poe’s back to that fine, fine ass.  Finn captures Poe’s mouth in a kiss as his fingers dig in. 

 

Poe cuts off the kiss with a startled “Oh.” 

 

Finn stops abruptly.  “Oh.  Sorry, I…”

 

“No, no, no.  Just surprised me is all.”  Poe smiles.  “I like it.”  He chuckles.  “Didn’t know you liked it a bit rough.”  He bends back down, taking Finn’s lower lip between his teeth and sucking on it.  Finn leans his head back, letting his lip pull against Poe’s teeth; he loves the sting of it. 

 

After a moment, he tentatively resumes his appreciative kneading of Poe’s wonderful ass as Poe moves his mouth down, along Finn’s jaw to kiss along Finn’s throat.  Poe traces Finn’s Adam’s apple with his tongue.  Finn’s mouth just barely opens so that he can whine out his appreciation. 

 

“Wanna fuck you, Poe,” Finn suddenly says, surprised by his own brazenness.

 

“Oh kriff, Finn.”  It takes Poe a minute before he can say, “Hell yes.”  He bites into Finn’s shoulder to punctuate the statement.  Then, he laughs.

 

Finn stares in wonder at the way the skin next to Poe’s eyes crinkles.  He grabs the back of Poe’s head, shaking his own.  “You are so fragging…” 

 

Poe laughs even harder, pressing another kiss to Finn’s lips.  “Finn,” he says, and it sounds like a revelation.  “Finn,” Poe repeats.

 

“We’re gonna do this?”  Finn hates how unsure his voice sounds.

 

Poe dots kisses along Finn’s cheeks.  “We’re gonna do this.”  Poe sounds as if he’s never been so sure of anything in his life.

 

“Need to get you ready first,” Finn says, and Poe’s smile widens.   

 

“I’d say we’re both pretty ready.”  His eyes travel down to where it is abundantly clear that they are both hard.

 

Finn’s eyes follow Poe’s, and he chuckles.  “Yeah, I’d say so.”

 

“So…”

 

They both have to maneuver to get their underwear off.  Things get awkward quickly.

 

“Blasted sick of these binders…”

 

“Just…wait…hold on…ow!”

 

“Sorry, I just…”

 

“Put your hand right…”

 

“There, you’ve got it…”

 

By the time they’re both naked, they’re laughing again.

 

“You’d think it’d be sexier,” Poe says as he moves himself back on top of Finn.

 

“What?”

 

“The binders,” Poe says.

 

“No,” Finn said.  “Sexy would be getting both of my hands into your hair.”

 

Poe shivers at that and dives in to attack one of Finn’s nipples.

 

Finn clenches his teeth, hissing; he’s pretty sure that all the breathable air in the room just evaporated.  Eventually, Finn’s fingers work their way down Poe’s back and begin circling Poe’s rim; for a few moments, Finn is so lost in the amazing kriffing things Poe can do with his mouth that he doesn’t notice the problem, but suddenly, he realizes.  “FUCK,” he says.

 

Poe goes completely still.  “What?”

 

“Lube?  A condom?” Finn slams his head back into the bed.  _I cannot believe my fucking luck!_

 

Poe blushes and chuckles.  “Ummmmm, yeah, I’ve got that covered.”  He scrambles awkwardly off Finn, hanging off the bed, and rummages around in his clothes until he brings up a condom and a package of lube.

 

Finn raises an eyebrow.

 

Poe says, “One should always have hope?” 

 

 _You wonderful bantha-fucker!_   Finn shakes his head and grabs Poe, bringing him in for a long, deep kiss.  Poe starts grinding into Finn.  Finn breaks the kiss to breathe out, “You keep that up and we won’t need these.”

 

“Don’t care,” Poe manages, licking a line up Finn’s throat. 

 

Finn groans out a long _ohhhhhhhhhh_ and Poe takes that as permission to keep grinding.

 

Finn’s free hand scrambles for the package of lube.  He grabs it, and somehow manages to slick up his fingers.  He’s trying to keep his hands steady as his body starts arching up into Poe’s.  “Oh maker, please, Poe.”

 

Poe laughs and starts sucking a bruise on Finn’s neck.

 

Finn’s fingers find Poe’s rim and there’s no pretense or playing, Finn simply presses in.  Poe cries out.

 

“You good?”

 

Poe nods.  He runs his teeth along Finn’s shoulder.  “Good,” he finally manages.  “Surprised.”

 

“Sorry.  Just a bit…eager.”

 

Poe chuckles into Finn’s neck.  “You have no idea, Finn.”

 

Finn starts again, and as Finn works him open, Poe starts rutting up against him in earnest, making all sorts of greedy little noises.  Finn adds a second and then a third finger and Poe’s little noises have turned to wails.  He’s pushing himself back onto Finn’s fingers now.  Finn whispers, “Baby, what do you need?”

 

“Need…oh maker…Finn, I need…I need you,” Poe finally manages.  Finn’s fingers still and he starts to shift.  “Gonna get behind you, okay?”

 

Poe nods.  His eyes are closed and Finn can sense that Poe’s head is somewhere far, far away.  “Poe?”

 

“Poe,” he repeats.

 

“Yeah, Finn,” Poe says.  “Just…”  He tries to catch his breath.  “Just a lot going on.”

 

“You sure you want…”

 

“Finn, get the fuck behind me now or I’m gonna explode,” Poe says.

 

Finn laughs as he moves behind Poe, the binders pulling Poe’s right arm across his chest.  “That okay,” Finn whispers into Poe’s ear.  Poe nods. 

 

Finn lets his teeth graze over Poe’s earlobe.  “You ready?” 

 

Poe nods even more vigorously.  He finally manages a drawn out, “Please.”

 

Finn smiles, lining his cock up and pushing in slowly.  He shuts his eyes, willing himself to take his fragging time.  This is overwhelming in the best possible sense, and Finn will be damned if he rushes it.  Poe is hot and tight and… _just perfect_.  “Oh stars, Poe,” Finn blurts out as he bottoms out.

 

“Finnnnnnnn,” Poe says, his voice is pure need.

 

Finn lets out a long breath and stills for just a moment.  _This is what I’ve wanted._ Poe’s voice brings him back to himself as Poe begs, “Finn, please.”

 

“Don’t worry, baby.  I’ve got you,” Finn purrs into Poe’s ear.  He starts to pull back out.  As he thrusts back in, he nuzzles into Poe’s neck, breathing him in.  It’s intoxicating—that delicious scent that fills their quarters and hangs on every piece of Poe’s clothing.  Finn licks up a stripe of sweat as it rolls down Poe’s neck, wanting to savor the taste of the pilot.  _This is it_ , he keeps thinking.  _I’m never gonna have this chance again.  Gotta remember it_.  He screws his eyes shut, trying to memorize it, this feeling—Poe in his arms, calling out his name, begging him.  _Right now, Poe is mine._

 

Finn is crying now, and this has to be the best any being in the galaxy has ever felt.  His arms are around Poe and everything is hot; his skin is prickling and he feels like he is going to vibrate off the bed.  Then Poe flicks his hips and “Oh maker, Poe, please, just like that _.”_

 

Finn pulls Poe back into his chest and brings his right hand around to Poe’s cock.  He presses his lips into the back of Poe’s neck as he starts lightly stroking Poe.  Poe lets out a low wail and finally manages a long, drawn out “Finnnnnnnnnn.”  He moves his free hand to grasp Finn’s leg, and as his fingers dig into Finn’s well-toned flesh, Finn is grateful for something to tether him to the world.

 

Finn brings his hand up slowly to the head of Poe’s cock, his thumb brushing over the top.  Poe hisses out a sound that makes Finn’s whole body tingle.   “Oh!  OH!”

 

Finn begins moving his hand more quickly, trying to match the pace of his thrusts.  Poe starts humming softly, tightening his grasp on Finn’s leg with a groan.  He’s going to leave a bruise but Finn doesn’t care.

 

The two of them move in sync for what feels like eons. 

 

It’s slow and deliberate and their breathing has lined up and Finn knows it’s crazy but he’s never felt this close to another human being in his life, and he’s pretty sure he and Poe have fused at this point.

 

 _Perfect_ , Finn thinks.  It’s the only coherent thought his brain can form, and he finally opens his eyes.  He stares at Poe’s shoulder, mesmerized by the glow of the light on Poe’s skin.    _Poe’s skin.  Poe’s perfect skin_.  He licks at Poe’s shoulder, letting his head rest there for a moment as he listens to the whining noises Poe is making.  They make Finn’s whole body glow. 

 

“Poe,” Finn finally gasps out.  “Poe, I need to…”

 

“Finn,” Poe manages, just barely.

 

“Need to kiss you.”

 

Poe turns his head, finding Finn’s lips and gasping into them, “Not gonna…”  He drags in a breath.  “Not gonna last…”

 

“Don’t care,” Finn says, capturing Poe’s lips with his own, moaning into Poe’s mouth because this just feels so kriffing perfect.  _Please don’t let this ever end.  Please, maker._

_Please._

_Please._

_Please._

 

He can feel it building.  _No.  More time_ , he begs the universe.  _Please._

 

Poe’s noises are getting louder and more frantic.

 

“Finn, I’m gonna…”

 

Finn feels Poe’s whole body tense under him as Poe starts to come.  He’s screaming Finn’s name, and Finn entire body lights up.  _Please_ , he manages to think before the whole world turns to sensation and he’s groaning and shaking and grasping onto Poe for dear life.

 

_Please…_

 

Finn jerks awake from the dream. 

 

He’s covered in his own come, and he wants to scream. 

 

_Noooooooooooooo!_

_Why would you do that to me, brain?  Why?!?!?_

 

He turns to look at Poe, fast asleep—somehow the moof-milker shifted and ended up in Finn’s arms _.  Great_ , Finn thinks _.  Just great_.

 

_At least he’s still asleep._

 

Finn reaches off the bed, finds his shirt and cleans himself up as best he can without waking Poe. 

 

He then leans back, tears in his eyes, and waits for the sun to come up.

 

_It doesn’t mean anything._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry?
> 
>  
> 
> Next up: the VERY IMPORTANT CONVERSATION that these two need to have, or at least they're going to try to have it--if only they wouldn't keep getting interrupted.


	4. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our boys will FINALLY talk to each other. Or at least, they're going to try...

 

 

Poe wakes feeling warm and happy, like the entire galaxy is smiling down on him.  He’s sprawled across Finn’s chest, head burrowed into the crook between Finn’s arm and his torso.  _I could stay like this forever_ , he thinks. 

 

And then, the full realization of where he is and who he’s cuddling hits.

 

_And I’m naked._

 

He raises his head to apologize, but what greets him makes him abruptly stop.  Finn is wide awake.  His eyes are red and watery.  _Have you been crying_?  _Fucking hell, what did I do_?  Poe scrambles up.  “Finn?  Finn, what is it?”

 

Finn swallows hard.  _I have to tell him.  I can’t keep doing this to myself_.

 

“Finn, you’re scaring me, baby?”

 

_Baby?_

 

It washes over Finn and it feels like hope.  _Just tell him.  Just tell him all of it.  Maybe…_   “Poe, I…” he chokes out, and then he freezes.

 

“Finn?”

 

“Shhhh!”  Finn sits up.  “Did you hear that,” he whispers.

 

Poe closes his eyes and strains to listen, and then he hears it.  Someone is walking around outside.  He feels sick as he opens his eyes, nodding.  _We aren’t alone._

 

Finn is already getting up, pointing to their clothes, and he and Poe miraculously manage to get dressed quickly and silently.  Finn nods towards the door and they creep over.

 

Finn barely opens it, peering outside.  He holds up one finger, then another, then two more. 

 

“Troopers,” Poe whispers.

 

Finn nods.

 

“Kriff,” Poe breathes out.

 

 _We’re trapped_.  Finn searches the room for anything they can use.  “I really miss my blaster,” he whispers.

 

“Right now, I’m missing it too,” Poe says. 

 

Finn smiles at him and raises an eyebrow in question.

 

“You’re a better shot than I am.”

 

Finn chuckles.  “Damn straight.”  He takes a deep breath.  _Okay, they don’t know for sure that we’re in here, and they don’t know that we know they’re out there.  Think, Finn!_

 

Poe stands in awe, watching Finn’s mind work.  He has complete faith that if there is a way out of this, Finn will come up with it.

 

“Standard procedure is going to be two to search the cabin while the other two check the perimeter.  We stand here,” he points to the side of the door, “against the wall and hope against hope that we can knock the first two out before the second two know what’s going on.”

 

Before Poe can agree, they hear the troopers at the door.

 

They plaster themselves against the wall.  Instead of saying _good luck_ , Poe squeezes Finn’s hand.  Finn looks over to him and nods.  _We’re gonna do this_.

 

The door opens and two troopers enter.  Finn has never been so thankful for the limited peripheral vision in Stormtrooper helmets.  As soon as both troopers are inside, he and Poe surge forward.  Finn grabs the first one while Poe sweeps the second one’s legs out from under him.  If he had a moment to spare, Finn would be impressed.

 

Finn yanks the blaster from the first, butting the trooper in the head with it and sending him to the ground.  Poe kicks the second one, just to make sure he’s out, before grabbing his blaster.

 

“You’ve been holding out on me, Dameron.”

 

“I do have some training, Finn.”

 

Finn points to the door, and they start out.  _Please let this work_ , he begs the universe.

 

They’re able to get the drop on one of the troopers and Finn has him down quickly, but the second one doubles back on them.

 

He’s behind them and lining up his shot before Finn spots him.  And then, Finn sees it in dreadful slow-motion: the trooper raises his blaster, aiming at Poe.  Finn screams, pushing Poe out of the way—which drags him into the line of fire because of the binders.  Poe grabs the binders, yanking Finn down, just as Finn gets off a shot.

 

Finn feels the trooper’s shot blast past his head—way too close for comfort—as he falls on top of Poe.  He watches as the trooper slumps to the ground, and closes his eyes, saying a prayer of thanks to the universe.

 

Finn pushes himself off Poe and sits there, panting, for a few moments.  “Come on,” he says.  “We need to get out of here.  There’ll be others, once they don’t check in.”

 

Poe nods and they take off.

 

**# # # #**

They walk all the way back to Binjai-Tin in silence.

 

At first, both are paranoid about running into any more squadrons, but then, in the last half-klick, when it becomes clear that they aren’t being trailed, the silence just sort of settles in around them and both of them refuse to be the one to break it.  Both men are having loud conversations in their heads, but they aren’t talking to each other.

 

It’s only when they’re on the outskirts of town when they have to make a decision about where to go that Poe breaks the silence.  He takes a deep breath.  “We should head towards Ollie’s stand,” he says.

 

“Sure,” Finn agrees.

 

“And while we’re walking that way,” he says, “maybe we can talk.”

 

“Talk,” Finn repeats tentatively.

 

“Yeah, about…,” Poe says.  _About those tears in your eyes this morning_.  “…about the past few days.”

 

“The past few days,” Finn says, “I’m not sure I...”  _Oh just let me down already, Poe.  Don’t drag this out._

 

“Yeah, it’s been… There’s been this…”  He motions between the two of them.  “I don’t know.  Something’s been up between us, and I want to know what it is.”

 

Finn’s tension morphs into anger.  _You want to know?  Why don’t you own up to what you said in the kriffing cantina?  Why don’t you just admit that…_ Finn closes his eyes.  He can’t tell if he wants to scream or cry.

 

Poe’s voice is urgent.  “Finn,” he says.

 

Finn glares at the pilot.  “I get why we need to talk,” he whispers, “but why am I the one who has to explain things?”

 

“Because you’re the one who’s been mad for the past few days, or however long it is we’ve been like this.  We’re friends, Finn.  At least we used to be friends.”

 

Finn rolls his eyes.  “Always one for the dramatics, Dameron.”

 

“Yeah, well, it feels to me that maybe you don’t want to be my friend anymore.”

 

“So I get pissed and our friendship’s over?  That’s how this works?”

 

“Kriff, Finn, no!  That’s not what I meant!  I just—”

 

Finn tries his hardest to sound calm.  “And why is this all on me?”

 

“That’s not what I’m saying, Finn.”

 

“Sounds like it.”

 

“I just…Dammit, Finn.  Everything was fine until we woke up in the ship.  But the second someone locked these fragging binders on us, it’s like you hate me or something.”  Poe stops and turns to face Finn.  People are staring.  “Look, I’m playing catch up here, so tell me what in the hell is going on.  Why are you mad at me?”

 

“Fine,” Finn spits out.  “You wanna know why I’m mad.”  He lets out a long breath.  “Where to even kriffing start?  I guess at the beginning, right, Dameron?”  Finn barks out a laugh.  “Yeah, might as well, so here it is.  When we were in that cantina four nights ago, you were being your usual drunk self.”

 

“Yeah,” Poe says, trying to sound defiant.  “And?”

 

“And,” Finn says, fighting against the tears he can already feel in his eyes, “I’ve actually gotten used to it over the past year, you know?  The way you are when you’re drunk?”  Poe doesn’t say anything so Finn continues, “Well, in case you wondered, you’re flirty and you’re handsy and…you say all sorts of things that I know you don’t mean…”

 

_Oh shit.  What did I say?_

 

It’s Poe’s defense mechanism—the only time he’ll allow himself to be even remotely honest with Finn is when he’s drunk.  He’s been in love with Finn since that damn Stormtrooper helmet came off, but he’s been so good about hiding it—Finn is young and he’s obviously in love with Rey—but when he drinks…  _Dammit, Poe, you went too far_.  “What did I say,” Poe asks quietly.

 

Finn opens his mouth to respond.

 

That’s when a Stormtrooper clasps a hand onto Finn’s shoulder, and he hears a voice say, “We found them, sir.”

 

“Oh you have to be kriffing kidding me,” Finn yells, twisting and punching the first Stormtrooper and taking off at a run before the second one can get his blaster up.

 

Poe stumbles along behind him and then pushes him aside as they start taking fire.

 

“Poe, would you…”  Finn yanks the chain and pulls Poe up to face him.  “Don’t you dare even think about putting yourself between—” A shot hits the wall behind them.  “Kriff!”  Finn starts running, hoping that Poe can keep up.  He turns a corner, right into a squad of Stormtroopers.

 

One of them hits Finn in the ribs with a stun baton.  Finn crumples to the ground with a groan as Poe comes to a halt.  Finn tries to wrap his good arm around himself; his whole body is erupting in pain.  One of the troopers kicks the blaster out of his hands.  Another one yanks the blaster away from Poe.

 

“You good,” Finn hears the bastard who stunned him ask.

 

A voice from behind them says, “Yeah.  Go tell the Captain we’ve found them.”

 

A hand roughly drags Finn up and a Stormtrooper shoves Poe forward; the motion drags Finn along as well.  Finn makes a noise as it pulls at his side and he can sense Poe tensing up beside him.

 

As Finn tries to regain his footing, he sneaks a look at Poe.  Poe’s eyes are steely, his chin is raised.  Poe’s usual playfulness is gone. 

 

This Poe is deadly serious. 

 

This Poe is so through with your shit. 

 

This is a man without anything to lose.  

 

It’s a dangerous thing—Poe pushed into a corner.  Finn’s seen it a few other times, but honestly, it’s a rare sight.  He tries to catch Poe’s eye, mouth to him _not to do anything stupid_ , but…

 

It happens in a flash.  Poe yells, “Duck.”  Finn’s body instinctively complies.

 

Poe pushes the trooper behind him into his partner, grabbing at his blaster, spinning and firing two shots before Finn can register what is happening.  Poe jerks the chain and Finn follows.

 

“How’s your side,” Poe pants out as they run down the alley.

 

“Fine,” Finn lies, turning and gaping at the two unconscious troopers on the ground.  He can hear the other troopers coming back. 

 

Poe tugs him to the right and they are in a maze of small streets, headed towards the bazaar.

 

“Poe,” Finn says.  “Poe, what in the hell is the plan?” 

 

Poe spots a darkened doorway and jumps into it, grabbing Finn pressing him into a wall.  They both tense as they hear the Stormtroopers run past.  Thankfully, none of them turn to examine the doorway too closely.

 

When they can’t hear the troopers’ boots anymore, Poe lets out a breath.  He closes his eyes and leans his head back.

 

Finn reaches up with his free hand.  “Poe?”

 

Before Finn can touch Poe’s cheek, Poe’s eyes fly open.  “Are you sure you’re okay,” he asks.

 

Finn wants to weep as he sees Poe’s eyes.  Gone is the steely-eyed predator.  The man that stands before him now is terrified.

 

Finn presses his hand to Poe’s cheek.  Poe closes his eyes and leans into it.  “I’m fine, Poe.  It was a stun baton.”

 

Poe nods, as if he’s trying to convince himself that everything is okay.

 

“Poe?”

 

“When I saw him hit you, I thought…”  He chokes up and then before he can find his voice, he grabs Finn and hugs him tight.  “I’m sorry, Finn.  I’m so sorry.  Whatever idiotic thing I said.  I’m so sorry.”

 

Finn relaxes into the grasp and closes his eyes, breathing in Poe.  “It’s okay,” he murmurs.  “I’m okay, Poe.

 

Poe pulls back.  “I thought…”

 

Finn smiles, trying to break the somber mood.  “It’s gonna take a lot more than that to get rid of me, Dameron.”

 

“Promise,” Poe asks, way too serious.

 

“Poe, I swear.”

 

Poe nods and takes a breath.  “Okay, then.  Let’s find someone who can put us in touch with the Resistance.”

 

**# # # #**

 

Their contact, Ollie, is in his stall in the bazaar.  His mouth slides into a frown when he sees the two of them; he motions for them to follow him and then quickly pushes them into an abandoned storefront across the way.  “What in the name of the Jedi happened,” the Duros hisses.

 

“Ran into some trouble,” Poe says.

 

“That’s one way of putting it,” Ollie says.  “They’ve got squadrons looking for you all over the city.”  He checks the doorway out of paranoia and then motions them to a back room.  “I thought this was supposed to be information retrieval.”

 

“It was,” says Finn.  “Things changed.”

 

Ollie frowns.  “And?”

 

“And we’re hoping you can get in touch with Leia, tell her to come pick us up.”

 

“Oh, is that all?  Maybe you’d like some fake IDs while we’re at it?  Some extra credits?”

 

“Well, if you’re offering,” Poe snarks.

 

Finn speaks over him.  “Just contact the Resistance.  The sooner they show up, the sooner we’ll be gone.”

 

The Duros nods.  “Don’t go anywhere.”  He goes back to the bazaar.

 

Once they’re alone, Finn finds two crates and settles himself on one, nodding to the other.  Poe collapses on it and sighs.  “You were just about to tell me what asinine thing it was I said to you the other night.”

 

Finn says, “You sure you want to do this now?”

 

“Buddy,” Poe says, the fatigue clear in his voice, “let’s just get it over with.  I don’t see how this mission can get any worse.”

 

They both tense and listen for sounds outside.  Finally, Finn laughs.  “I thought for sure that was the cue for another group of Stormtroopers to show up.”

 

“Me too,” Poe says, chuckling.

 

As their laughter dies out, Finn clears his throat.  “Okay, look.  I just need to know.  Are you trying to pretend like you don’t remember to spare my feelings?”

 

“Kriff, Finn, no!  I promise you, the entire night is a blur.”

 

“Just tell me what you do remember.  Anything from that night ringing a bell?”

 

Poe shakes his head.  “I remember we finished the mission and I talked you into going to that cantina on the edge of town.”

 

“Never going back there again,” Finn mutters.

 

“Nope,” Poe agrees.  He continues, “We started drinking.  And honestly, after that first drink…  I remember dancing and…”  Flashes of the night come back to him: plastering himself all over Finn, licking Finn’s neck, Finn on top of him in a booth, telling Finn how much he loved him… 

 

_And then I spent the next few days in showers with him, sharing beds with him.  Suggesting we get naked!  Oh kriffing hell, he must think I’m the worst sexual harasser ever.  I’m gonna have to move to fragging Hoth, aren’t I?  Kriffing, fucking, fragging hell!!!!!!!!!_

 

Poe groans and hides his face with his free hand.  “I made an ass outta myself, didn’t I?” 

 

Finn snorts.  “Yeah.”  _And I’m the ass that believed you._

 

“Look,” Poe scrubs his face with his hand and then rises.  He desperately wants to pace.  When he realizes he can’t, he sits back down.  “I didn’t mean it.”  He stares off into the empty store, refusing to look at the man next to him.  “You’re my best friend, Finn.  I’d never do anything to jeopardize that, and I shouldn’t have said those things or, kriff, done those things…”  _I washed his fragging back.  Oh maker, he must think I’m the sleaziest being this side of Kaddak._   Poe lowers his head.  His voice is tiny.  “Oh maker.  Please don’t hate me, Finn.”

 

For a few moments, Finn just stares at Poe.  He can’t figure out what he’s feeling—is it anger or remorse or pity or something else?  Finally, he asks, “What bothers you most, Poe?  The fact that you said those things or that you said them to _me_?”

 

Poe looks up.  “What?”

 

Now, Finn stands.  And he finds himself instantly flustered.  “Dammit,” he growls.  “When in the name of kriffing hell are we gonna get these binders off?!?”  He clenches his teeth and finally says, “What I want to know, Dameron, is if you are embarrassed about your behavior in a general sense or if you are embarrassed because you said those things to me specifically?”

 

“What difference does it make?” 

 

“Dammit, Poe, just tell me!”

 

“I don’t know!”

 

“You said you loved me,” Finn yells.

 

Poe rises.  “Yeah, I did.”

 

“Oh, so now you remember?”

 

“Yeah, I remember.”  _The one time I’m brave enough to tell you the truth and we’re both drunk.  Great going there, Dameron!_

 

“Good.  So tell me, did you mean it, or was it just you being drunk?”

 

“What difference does it make, Finn?  You obviously weren’t happy with me saying it!”

 

“I never said that!  I wasn’t happy because _you didn’t remember saying it_ , you nerf-herder!”

  
  
“What?”  _I’m confused_.  “Wait, what?”

 

“You heard me, Dameron.”

 

Poe tries to put the pieces together.  _He didn’t mind that I told him I…_  “Finn?”

 

“What,” Finn snaps.

 

“You _wanted_ me to tell you I love you,” Poe asks.  Hope starts to blossom in his chest.

 

Finn steps forward, crowding into Poe’s space.  “So what if I did,” he asks.

 

Poe’s next breath catches in his throat.  “Finn,” he manages.  “I’ve always lov—”

 

Ollie comes running in.  “Good news!  It seems the Resistance was already in this sector looking for the two of you.  You have a rendezvous in twenty-five minutes across town.”  He looks between the two of them, suddenly realizing he’s walked in on something.  “Poe?  Finn?  Rendezvous?”

 

Neither of them move or even look at him.  Their eyes are locked on each other.

 

“Look, guys, whatever is going on, we need to leave right now if I’m going to get you to the meet up, okay?”  He takes in a deep breath and repeats, “Okay?”

 

 _Dammit, Ollie!_   Finn breaks off first.  “Fine.  Which way do we go?”

 

**# # # #**

 

They are sitting side by side in the transport.  They can hear Jess and Karé up front, still snickering about the binders, as they lift off.  Eventually, Jess yells back, “We’ll be back on base in about four hours.”

 

“Great,” Finn says, tightly.  He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the metal wall behind him. 

 

Snap sits across from them.  “Either of you feel like sharing?”  He can’t help his smirk.

 

“Actually,” Poe says, “if you guys don’t mind, I think we’d both like to rest.  It’s been an eventful few days.  I’m sure you’ll hear all about it after our de-brief with the General.”

 

Snap shrugs and picks up his datapad.  “Suit yourselves,” he says.

 

“Just tell me when we’re about to break atmo,” Poe says, settling back and closing his eyes. 

 

A small smile creeps across his face a few moments later when Finn’s hand works its way into his own.  He squeezes it and then settles in for a nap.

 

**# # # #**

 

They go through the de-brief while the General has a group of techs look at the binders.  Eventually, one of them announces that she can break the code.  Ten minutes later, both Finn and Poe watch as the binders fall to the floor with a clank.

 

The General gives them the rest of the night and the next day off, insisting that before they go back to their quarters, they visit med bay.

 

After Dr. Kalonia fusses over them for the better part of an hour, they walk, side by side, in silence back to their quarters.  Once there, Finn punches in the code and they both walk in.  Finn sits on his bed.  Poe sits on his.

 

They face each other.

 

One minute passes.

 

Then, two.

 

After the third minute, Poe says, “So who talks first?  You talk first?  I talk first?”

 

Finn fights his smile.  “I think you were talking when we got interrupted.”

 

Poe nods.  “Yeah, I was.”  He dips his head down and says a silent prayer.  _Please let me have this, universe.  Please._   “Okay,” he says, clearing his throat, “Let me see if I’ve got this straight...  We went to the bar, and we got drunk.  I started grinding up on you on the dance floor and then eventually, we went back to the booth and were making out, and I told you I loved you.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“But someone drugged us, and we woke up the next day on an old ship.  And that’s where things went sideways.”

 

Finn nods _.  In more ways than one._

 

“If I understand what’s going on, you woke up and remembered what I’d said, and then when I woke up and didn’t mention it, you thought I was trying to pretend it didn’t happen?”

 

“Pretty much,” Finn says, rocking back a bit onto his bed.  _Could this get any more awkward?_

 

“And that’s why you were an ass all the rest of the time?  Because you thought I didn’t mean to say I love you.”

 

“I think _ass_ is a strong word, Dameron, but yeah, I was a bit put out that the guy who confesses his love to me one moment is pretending like nothing happened the next.”

 

Poe smiles.  “I think _ass_ is the perfect way to describe how you were acting, Finn.”

 

Finn raises an eyebrow.  “Are you flirting with me, Dameron, or trying to piss me off?”

 

Poe shrugs.  “Both?” 

 

Finn falls back against his bed with an exaggerated sigh.  “Poe, I don’t think I can take any more of your particular brand of flirting.”

 

“And what does that mean?”

 

“It means,” Finn says, sitting back up, “that you flirt with everyone, and you’re playful with everyone, so after a while I convinced myself that it doesn’t mean anything.  Because it probably doesn’t.  Only here’s the thing: it _does_ mean something.  Because it gets my hopes up.  _Every single kriffing time._   And I’m tired of it, Poe.  I’m tired of you acting like it doesn’t mean anything, because it does.”

 

Poe takes in what Finn says and doesn’t speak for a full minute.  Finally, he says, “I was trying to protect myself.”

 

“From what?”

 

“From you.”

 

Finn snorts.  “Yeah, right.”

 

“Finn, look I…” Poe stutters.  _Why is this so fragging hard?_   He shakes his head, trying to muster up the courage to _just say it already_.  “Finn,” he starts again, “I love you.  I’ve been in love with you since…well, since the Finalizer.”  He sighs.  “Kriff, I mean, who even believes in love at first sight anymore…”

 

 _He loves me._   Finn’s pretty sure the planet just went spinning off its axis.  He bursts into a wide smile, which Poe is far too busy apologizing to see. 

 

Poe’s still talking, in fact.  “…but I realized early on that…well, I mean, you’re nearly a decade younger than me, you know?  And then, there’s Rey.  She’s absolutely perfect, and you’re obviously crazy about her.”  Poe stands and begins pacing, still not making eye contact.  “So yeah, I flirted.  I flirted and I played and I tried not to get too close because…”

 

“Because?”  Finn stands. 

 

Poe shrugs.  “Because…”

 

“Because you’re an idiot, you stupid kriffing asshole!”

 

“What?”

 

“You heard me,” Finn says.

 

“I’m a what?”  Poe goes from penitent to angry in one second.

 

“A stupid kriffing asshole who didn’t realize that I was totally in love with you too.”

 

Poe’s still far too angry to process what Finn has just said.  “I’m an asshole?  For loving you?”

 

“Yep,” Finn says, smile still blindingly wide.

 

“And you really think that that…” _Wait, did he just say?_    Poe slowly breaks into a smile and finally meets Finn’s eyes.  “I’m sorry.  Or did I miss the part where you were open and honest with me about _your_ feelings, Finn?”

 

Finn chuckles.  “Fine!  We’re both assholes.”

 

 “Seems like it,” Poe says, shaking his head.

 

“And just to be perfectly clear, you love me?”

 

“Yeah, you dim-witted nerf-herder,” Poe says, “I love you.”

 

“Good, because just to reconfirm, I love you too,” Finn says.  “I’ve been in love with you for so fragging long.”  He looks around the room.  “And bunking with you has been an absolute nightmare.”

 

“Tell me about it,” Poe says.

 

“And then with the binders…”

 

“I know!”

 

“Not to mention the shower,” Finn says.

 

“And the bed sharing,” Poe adds.

 

Finn shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling.  “Kriffing hell!  Are we really both this pathetic?”

 

“It would seem so,” Poe says, stepping forward.  “Completely and totally pathetic.”

 

“We’re the worst!”

 

Poe takes another step forward.  “It’s a wonder the Resistance will still have us.”  He steps right up into Finn’s space.

 

“And why aren’t we kissing already?”

 

“I don’t know,” Poe says, his eyes crinkling as his smile gets even wider.

 

“Let’s rectify that then.”  Finn grabs Poe, pulling him into his arms as they fall onto Finn’s bed with a loud _oomph_.

 

**# # # #**

 

Neither is sure how long the kiss lasts, but they are both wearing huge, dopey grins when they finally come up for air. 

 

They aren’t wearing much else, but neither seems to mind.

 

“So,” Poe says.

 

“So,” Finn repeats.

 

“I guess this means…  Uhhhhh…”  _You can do this._

 

Finn laughs.  “Use your words, Dameron.”

 

“Boyfriends?”  Poe looks up at Finn, his eyes full of hope and worry.

 

“Hell yeah, we’re boyfriends,” Finn says, pressing a kiss to Poe’s lips.  “And ummmmm…”

 

“Use your words, Finn,” Poe chuckles.

 

“Well, I was sort of hoping…if you’d be amenable…well, I kinda had this dream last night?”

 

“A dream?  Anything interesting happen in this dream of yours,” Poe breaks into an evil grin.

 

“I’m pretty sure you screamed at one point.”

 

“Bad scream,” Poe says, kissing Finn’s chest, “or good scream?”

 

“Definitely good scream,” Finn says, running his fingers through Poe’s hair.  “Very good scream.”  He tugs at Poe’s hair.  “You were screaming my name.”

 

Poe nibbles at Finn’s skin.  “I think I could help you recreate that.”

 

Finn smiles.  “Good,” he says.  “Of course, this time it’ll be without all the angst and uncomfortable Stormtroopers-trying-to-kill-us-during-the-morning-after stuff.”

 

“Sure,” Poe chuckles again.  He rests his chin on Finn’s chest, looking up at his boyfriend. “Speaking of which, at least in terms of the angst—because I never want to wake up to see tears in your eyes again—so, maybe we work on the whole healthy communication thing?”  He loves the rumbly feeling of Finn’s laughter underneath him.

 

“Yeah,” Finn says.  “Maybe we start telling each other what we’re thinking.  Stop trying to read each other’s minds.”  _And maybe I start trusting my kriffing instincts._

 

“Sounds good,” Poe says, dotting lazy kisses along Finn’s chest.  “Anything else we should do?”

 

“Definitely another shower,” Finn says.  “I have some very strong opinions about how the last one should have ended.”  He loves the way he can feel Poe shiver at that.

 

“Okay, another shower.  More talking.  Less Stormtroopers.”  Poe runs a finger over one of Finn’s nipples.  “We can do all of that.”

 

“Plus,” Finn says, trying to keep his voice steady while Poe does his best to distract him.  “We’ve got the whole day off tomorrow.”

 

“The whole day,” Poe says, moving his mouth over to the nipple.  “Whatever will we do?”

 

A few minutes later, the neighbors on either side of Poe and Finn’s quarters know exactly what it is the pair have decided to do in their down time.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: an epilogue, or Poe's friends try to put things in perspective.


	5. Epilogue: Getting Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe's squad is always there to give him some perspective, just like Rey and Luke are there for Finn.

 

Three days later, Finn is sitting in a clearing outside of base.  His eyes are closed and he wears a serene expression on his face.

 

Rey sits next to him, also with her eyes closed and also wearing a serene expression.

 

For several minutes, Luke Skywalker circles them, watching and nodding.  Eventually—once he’s satisfied they’re meditating correctly—he moves off onto a trail and begins walking into the forest.

 

As soon as Master Skywalker is far enough away so that he can’t hear them, Rey whispers, “But how did you end up in the shower together?”

 

“Meditating,” Finn hums.

 

Rey smirks and then goes into a playful whine, “Fiiiiiiinnnnnn, pleeeeeease?”

 

Finn sighs, but refuses to open his eyes.  “We’d just spent seven hours trekking through the forest-of-death, Rey.  We were ripe.”

 

“And it never occurred to you that it would be awkward?”

 

Finn fights to maintain his serene façade.  “Of course, we knew it was kriffing awkward.”  He gives up and opens his eyes.  “He was naked, Rey!”

 

Rey smiles.

 

“Hey,” Finn says.  “Stop imagining my boyfriend naked!”

 

“You have to admit,” she says, opening her eyes, “it does make for a nice mental image.”

 

Finn can’t help his smile.  “It’s even better in person.”

 

She reaches over and shoves Finn.

 

“Hey!”

 

“So did you peek,” Rey asks.

 

“Peek?”

 

“In the shower, Finn,” Rey says.  “Did you sneak a peek?”

 

Finn’s whole body blushes and he begins stammering, “Well, I…I mean, it was close quarters and…I…you’re gonna see some stuff, even if you aren’t looking and…”

 

Rey laughs. 

 

“Well, just imagine what it would be like if you had to take a shower with Pava,” Finn says.  “Naked.”

 

Rey’s laughter catches in her throat and she starts coughing.

 

Master Skywalker appears on the path to the clearing.  “Everything okay?”

 

“Yes, Master Skywalker,” they both say.  Rey glares at Finn.  Finn closes his eyes and tries to get back to meditating.

 

Luke smiles and shakes his head.  He turns back towards the forest, but calls back to them, “I believe you were telling Rey about the shower, Finn.”  He doesn’t have to turn around to know that Finn is not only blushing, he’s now hiding his face in his hands.

 

“How does he do that,” he hears Finn ask Rey. 

 

**# # # #**

Two days later, Finn rises from his seat in the mess, kisses Poe on the cheek, and runs off to a meeting in command.

 

Poe sighs contentedly as he watches Finn leave.  Jess makes a choking noise.  “Please, for the love of all that is holy, could you stop?”

 

Poe leans on his hand, still watching the door Finn went through.  “Hmmmmm?”

 

Jess rolls her eyes and then turns to Snap, Karé, and Iolo, silently pleading.

 

“I think what Jess is trying to say, Poe,” Snap says.  “Poe?  Poe?”  Snap waves a hand in front of Poe’s face.

 

“What?” Poe seems to come back to reality.

 

“I think what Jess is trying to say is that we’ve already had to suffer through a year of the two of you mooning over each other.  Now that you’re a couple, well…”

 

“It’s nauseating,” Iolo quips.

 

“Hey,” Poe says.  “We’re allowed a honeymoon period!”

 

“No, you’re not,” Karé says.  “Not if the two of you are going to be as mushy and pathetic as you’ve been for the past five days.”

 

Poe smiles and sighs.  _Five days.  The best five days of my life._

 

“No,” Jess says, slapping the back of Poe’s head.  “That’s exactly what we’re talking about.  No staring off into the distance.  No long romantic sighs.  No stupid nicknames.  No sucking each other’s faces off in the mess.”

 

“Yeah, we’re trying to eat here,” Iolo says.

 

“Guys, we aren’t that bad,” Poe says.  “Besides, I’m still your commanding officer.”

 

“We’ll mutiny,” Karé says quietly into her caf.  “We’ll mutiny, and you’ll be too busy thinking about his perfect thighs to do anything about it.”

 

“They are yummy,” Poe says.

 

“So not the point, Poe,” Snap says, and then he turns to his girlfriend, “And don’t think we’re not talking about this later.”

 

“What?  The boy has good thighs.”  Karé looks around the table. 

 

Jess nods.  “It’s true.”

 

Iolo shakes his head.  “I’ll refrain from objectifying Finn until he’s here with us, but yes, he has good thighs.  And biceps.”

 

Karé and Jess murmur their agreement.

 

“Okay, as I seem to be the only one not currently fantasizing about Finn, then let me just say that we’d really appreciate it, Poe, if you could keep the sappy stuff to a minimum.”

 

“Sure,” Poe says, sipping his caf.

 

“Sure,” Jess asks.  “Really?”

 

“You know I’m fully capable of controlling myself, Testor.  I can be a mature adult when I need to be.  Kriff, I spent the last year trying to be a mature adult where Finn was concerned…”

 

The whole table erupts into laughter.

 

“You call what you’ve been doing the past year _being a mature adult_ ,” Karé asks.

 

“Yes,” Poe says.  _Probably?_

 

“Poe,” Iolo says, “a good rule of thumb is if it takes binders, a fake marriage, an abandoned cabin, and the First Order trying to kill you to get you to confess your feelings, then maybe you aren’t being as adult about things as you think.”

 

“Don’t forget the drunken confession,” Jess adds.  “The true sign of all adult communication.  Waiting until you’re drunk to tell a guy how you feel.”

 

“Yeah, Jess, and how are things going with Rey,” Poe mutters into his caf.

 

Jess cuffs his shoulder.  Hard.

 

“Ow!”

 

“Poe does have a point,” Snap says.  Jess sends him a withering look.  “But, um, we aren’t talking about Jess.  We’re talking about Poe.”

 

“And the spectacular lengths the universe had to go to to get him to talk to Finn like an adult,” Iolo says.

 

Poe pouts.  “Finn didn’t tell me either.”

 

“Yes, blame your boyfriend.  Always a good strategy,” Karé says, “and you’ve got nearly a decade on him, old man.  What else you got?”

 

Poe crosses his arms in front of him.  “You know, you guys could be happy for me.”

 

Karé leans over and kisses his cheek.  “We are, kiddo.  Just wanted to put things in perspective.”

 

“That’s what we’re here for,” Iolo says, rising.  “Keeping you humble.”  Iolo looks at the chrono across the way.  “Now, if I’m not mistaken, we’re supposed to be training the new recruits?”

 

“Yeah,” Poe says.  “Anything to distract me from _getting perspective_.”

 

“We are happy for you, Poe,” Jess says as they walk towards the exit.

 

He smiles and leans in, whispering, “I still have the binders if you want some quality time alone with Rey.”

 

Jess starts to punch Poe but then reconsiders.

 

Snap shakes his head.  “Oh please maker no, not you too.”

 

“Well, if it worked for Poe…”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading!!! 
> 
> I've appreciated all the kudos, comments, subscriptions, and bookmarks. They always make me so happy.
> 
>  
> 
> And who knows, maybe someday I'll follow up with Rey and Jess (although honestly, I always imagine them as far better communicators than Poe and Finn, so it would be far less "just talk already").

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I appreciate kudos and comments more than you'll ever know.
> 
> And you can find me over on tumblr where I'm [cha-llamala.](https://cha-llamala.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Updates on Fridays and Tuesdays.


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